Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3018668 times)

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #34825 on:** August 02, 2021, 09:06:24 AM »

Sounds like you need to live in a civilised town...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34826 on:** August 02, 2021, 09:09:06 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34827 on:** August 02, 2021, 09:12:40 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34828 on:** August 02, 2021, 09:15:21 AM »

People say to me, 'Cheer up, Lady Luck will smile on you one day.'

By the time she smiles on me, she won't have any teeth left.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34829 on:** August 02, 2021, 10:43:31 AM »

Daniel Spamdrews has a driver who really loves his job.

Anytime he has the PM on board, he qualifies to park in the handicapped parking spaces.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34830 on:** August 02, 2021, 11:01:33 AM »

Just had a phonecall from the Medical Clinic. Have a booking for my first jab on Tuesday next week.
Have been waiting almost 4 months for confirmation.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34831 on:** August 02, 2021, 11:06:01 AM »

Maybe someone in the Med Clinic reads this forum??

Brock · « **Reply #34832 on:** August 02, 2021, 11:33:33 AM »

An hour after getting my jabs, I received an email from medicare saying my vax status had been updated.. Not bad for the Govt..

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34833 on:** August 02, 2021, 02:26:49 PM »

Another whale sighting near Portland.

Where:
Eye of the Dune, Narrawong

When:
1:30pm

Type:
Unspecified

Comments:
Unspecified mother and calf spotted at Eye of the Dune in Narrawong.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34834 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:00:54 PM »

An hour ago, I popped out to pay my rent. Not too bad a day, 15 degrees, felt like 13, sunshine all day but with overcast sky to the west.

It's now 9 degrees, feels like 5, and that overcast has now blocked the sun, and a huge cloud with a leaky bladder is overhead. Been 2mm of rain in the past 15 minutes with more on the way.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34835 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:21:50 PM »

There was an old farmer from Greece
Who did terrible things to his geese
But he went too far
with a budgerigar
And the parrot phoned the police.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34836 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:24:00 PM »

When I took my mother-in-law to Madame Tussard's Chamber of Horrors, one of the attendants said to me:
'Keep her moving sir, we're stock-taking'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34837 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:41:14 PM »

The strangest sexual act that Nicole Kidman has performed in her life was marrying Tom Cruise!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34838 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:42:24 PM »

Tom Cruise told Time Magazine he hated people, until he found Scientology.

Now people hate Tom Cruise!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34839 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:44:09 PM »

Liberals work seven days a week so they don't have to be retrained on Monday.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34840 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:48:51 PM »

Today I discovered why bagpipers walk when they play.

Trying to get away from the noise.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34841 on:** August 02, 2021, 05:59:06 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34842 on:** August 02, 2021, 06:02:50 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34843 on:** August 02, 2021, 06:35:30 PM »

I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.

Unfortunately, the man-made object never equalled the purity of sound achieved by the pig.

-Alfred Hitchcock

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34844 on:** August 02, 2021, 06:41:07 PM »

You Might Be A Lawyer if you have a daughter named Sue, and a son named Bill.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34845 on:** August 02, 2021, 06:51:33 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34846 on:** August 02, 2021, 06:52:05 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34847 on:** August 02, 2021, 07:14:02 PM »

Another burst of bad weather expected here later tonight, maybe in 2 or 3 hours.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34848 on:** August 02, 2021, 07:14:34 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #34849 on:** August 02, 2021, 07:33:31 PM »

What has four legs and an arm?

A happy pit bull.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3018668 times)