Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3062653 times)

Offline NTRebel

  • Legendary "1000 Club" Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 1233
  • Thanked: 899 times
  • red centre red bike
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12700 on: June 22, 2019, 08:33:53 AM »
Hey Kev you're lucky 8am here -1.1 feels like -5
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Offline Phil.S

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 341
  • Thanked: 198 times
  • ST Legend
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12701 on: June 22, 2019, 01:29:07 PM »
Down here in Hobart it is a beautiful clear day and 11 degrees what else would you want.
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12702 on: June 22, 2019, 01:50:34 PM »
Hasn't quite reached 11 degrees here yet Phil.

Local traders here are doing a roaring trade, selling fridges as room heaters.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12703 on: June 23, 2019, 03:00:23 AM »
Teacher was testing her pupils on animal recognition.

She held up a picture. "What is this?" she asked.

Mary jumped up and replied "Thats a DEER!"

"Correct!" said the teacher, holding up another picture "How about this one?"

Gerald called out "Thats a Giraffe!"

"Very good! ... now what about this one?"

Little Johnny jumped to his feet and shouted "Thats easy! ... look at those big ears! ... its a FRIKKEN ELEPHANT!"

Teacher lowered the picture and gently said "Johnny, that is pronounced as 'AFRICAN' elephant!"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Offline ruSTynutz

  • NR2024 Rally Team
  • Supreme "2000" Club Member
  • *
  • Posts: 4531
  • Thanked: 2842 times
    • "Destined to Drive" Driving School
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12704 on: June 23, 2019, 11:42:11 AM »
Dontcha just love little Johnny?  :clap


        2005 Honda ST1300A
 
The following users thanked this post: Wild Rose, Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12705 on: June 23, 2019, 12:30:09 PM »
More visitors from out of town.

Date & Time 2019-06-23 12:20:00
Location Cape Nelson
Type of Whale Humpback Whale
Comments 5 Humpback whales heading east towards Portland Bay
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12706 on: June 23, 2019, 02:04:30 PM »
I have a friend who is a dedicated 'Yes Man'

His creed is: 'I came, I saw, I concurred.'
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12707 on: June 23, 2019, 08:16:52 PM »
Suzie was all alone. It was two months since her dear Herbie had passed, and she just couldn’t seem to move on.
“Listen, Suzie”, said her good friend Barbara, “maybe you should go see a psychic?
One of my friends did it after her husband died, and it made her feel so much better knowing that her dearest was happy.”

So that’s how, on the next Tuesday, Suzie found herself with a psychic.

“Is he here?” Suzie asked.
“Yes, I sense him,” was her reply.
“Can you ask him if he’s happy?” Suzie hesistanly asked.
“He’s putting his hand to his mouth like he wants to smoke” said the psychic.
“Oh, of course” said Suzie, “he needs a cigar. Herbie can never last more then a few hours without a cigar.
-I guess they don’t have cigars up there. Did he say where he is or how I could get one to him?” asked Suzie.

“Hmm”, said the psychic. “I can’t seem to get that question across to him.
But then again,” said the psychic after a brief pause, “he didn’t say anything about needing a lighter, either!”

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12708 on: June 24, 2019, 12:01:03 PM »
OH, look! ... My internet is back!  :runyay

That was fast, only took them 12 hours!  :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12709 on: June 24, 2019, 12:54:37 PM »
I went out last night, and I got back to my hotel at 7:20 this morning.
I went to the reception desk to leave a wake-up call for 7:00.
The lady said, 'It's already past 7:00.'
'No, the next one. You got another one coming around, don't you? Why don't you just put me on that one?
I hear they're running two a day now.'

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12710 on: June 24, 2019, 12:57:22 PM »
When you're walking along the beach and you see a girl dressed in a bikini made out of seashells?

If you pick her up and hold her to your ear, you can hear her scream.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12711 on: June 24, 2019, 12:59:00 PM »
If life gives you lemons, make lemonade...

 ... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12712 on: June 24, 2019, 01:06:10 PM »
The US economy is so bad that Oprah Winfrey now gives away model cars!

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12713 on: June 24, 2019, 02:16:44 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 
The following users thanked this post: STeveo

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12714 on: June 25, 2019, 12:34:50 AM »
Local weather reporter on TV got tongue tied again tonight...

"... we can expect some fosty frogs later... I mean ... frosty frogs... FOGS! FOGS!"

Poor lady, this is the second time she has spoken this gaffer.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12715 on: June 25, 2019, 12:39:59 AM »
The main difference between a Lexus and an echidna, is that one has pricks on the outside.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12716 on: June 25, 2019, 12:47:29 AM »
It only takes about 5 beers until it's impossible to tell the difference between a fox and a dog.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12717 on: June 25, 2019, 03:03:15 PM »
Rapid Transit?

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Bodø

  • Guest
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12718 on: June 25, 2019, 05:13:00 PM »
Going down in history.
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12719 on: June 26, 2019, 01:25:44 AM »
Maybe Trumps drone should have made an appointment?

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12720 on: June 26, 2019, 01:39:39 AM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Bodø

  • Guest
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12721 on: June 26, 2019, 04:59:21 AM »
Local weather reporter on TV got tongue tied again tonight...
"... we can expect some fosty frogs later... I mean ... frosty frogs... FOGS! FOGS!"
Poor lady, this is the second time she has spoken this gaffer.

English reporters are struggling to say Jeremy Hunt.
 
The following users thanked this post: Kev Murphy

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12722 on: June 26, 2019, 05:55:35 PM »
As a kid, I got respect from no one.
When I was kidnapped, they sent my parents a note which read,:
 "Pay the ransom before lunchtime, or we'll send your damn kid home again."
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12723 on: June 26, 2019, 06:23:50 PM »
I came home early from work one day, and saw a guy jogging naked.

I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that?"

He said, "Because you came home early."

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 95263
  • Thanked: 10865 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12724 on: June 26, 2019, 09:13:59 PM »
When my mates wife took her driving test, she got 8 out of 10.

The other two jumped clear.

*****************************

Just the other day, she ran down a kangaroo.

It was in a zoo.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com