Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2924454 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12625 on: June 13, 2019, 07:10:34 PM »
Her:– What are you doing?

Him:– I’m cleaning the windows, you can barely see anything through them anymore!

Her:– You stay out of my garden, or I’m calling the police!
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12626 on: June 13, 2019, 08:42:55 PM »
I remember her.  When I cook you breakfast in bed a simple thank you would surfice, not the :how did you get in my house?" rubbish.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12627 on: June 14, 2019, 12:26:56 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12628 on: June 14, 2019, 12:34:13 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12629 on: June 14, 2019, 04:01:53 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12630 on: June 14, 2019, 08:57:09 AM »
She came home from shopping, feeling down.
"Someone called me fat!" she said.

"Aw, c'mon now," I replied, "Chin up!
 - No ... the other one!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12631 on: June 14, 2019, 09:05:02 AM »
She was agitated, so I said:

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push all your buttons, I was just searching for the mute."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12632 on: June 14, 2019, 09:11:56 AM »
I saw a woman talking to her dog. She obviously thinks it can understand her.

I came home and told my cats about her, and we all had a great laugh.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12633 on: June 14, 2019, 09:20:20 AM »
She tried that smokey eyed, sultry vixen look on me.

Didn't work.

She reminded me of a Panda coming home from an all-nighter at the pub.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12634 on: June 14, 2019, 09:26:41 AM »
Potatoes.

Can be made into mash, french fries, chips, or vodka.

Its like the other vegetables aren't even trying?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12635 on: June 14, 2019, 09:36:28 AM »
DId you know, that on the Canary Islands, there is not a single canary?


... And on the Virgin Isles? 

Same thing!

There's no canaries there, either.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12636 on: June 14, 2019, 09:38:03 AM »
Camping. The art of spending a small fortune so that you can live like a homeless person, but with more comfort.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12637 on: June 14, 2019, 12:00:46 PM »
Remember the three wise monkeys? (Speak no evil, See no evil, hear no evil)
They have now been joined by a fourth ... speaks to nobody, sees nobody, hears nobody.
- Spends all day playing App games.

 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12638 on: June 14, 2019, 03:19:45 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12639 on: June 14, 2019, 04:24:29 PM »
STUPID VODAPHONE!  :angry-old-man-smiley-emoticon

Offering me international roaming, for 'ONLY' an extra $5 per day!

1) I am not a Vodaphone customer.
2) I have no intention of going overseas.
3) I don't make $5 worth of phonecalls/texts in a MONTH!

BLOODY TELEMARKETERS!
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Offline CallMeSteve

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12640 on: June 14, 2019, 06:00:59 PM »
I saw a woman talking to her dog. She obviously thinks it can understand her.

I came home and told my cats about her, and we all had a great laugh.

 :rofl
A man rides on his STeed, says “Why am I short of attention? Got a short little span of attention”.

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12641 on: June 14, 2019, 06:05:46 PM »
I told the voices in my head about both of you and we all had a good laugh.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12642 on: June 14, 2019, 06:49:13 PM »
 :grin
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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12643 on: June 14, 2019, 07:14:07 PM »
Quote
I told the voices in my head about both of you and we all had a good laugh.

I had a big fight with my voices, now they are sulking, havent heard anything from them for a couple of weeks. It awfully quiet in here..

 :popcorn :popcorn
Brock
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12644 on: June 14, 2019, 07:17:06 PM »
 :thumb
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12645 on: June 14, 2019, 09:09:45 PM »
Oh what I would do for a quiet house.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12646 on: June 14, 2019, 11:38:01 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12647 on: June 15, 2019, 02:36:24 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12648 on: June 16, 2019, 05:00:46 AM »
In Febuary 1972 I bought a brand new HQ Holden Kingswood auto, complete with Taxi Pack (roof light, meter, company custom colours etc, fitted with aircon, (which was not standard in those days)
Total cost was $3,280.
Looking at car prices today, and a second-hand car of that model sells for 30 to 35 thousand dollars!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12649 on: June 16, 2019, 05:10:17 AM »
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