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The Blondes are back...
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Topic: The Blondes are back... (Read 641 times)
JuST Peter
Supreme "2000" Club Member
Posts: 2642
Thanked: 549 times
Quakers Hill NSW
The Blondes are back...
«
on:
March 28, 2014, 08:21:57 PM »
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for Humanity House.
Lynn was nailing down house siding, would reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it over her shoulder or nail it in.
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?'
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them have the head on the wrong end & I throw them away.'
Judy got completely upset & yelled,
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective!
They're for the other side of the house!'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes
who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
You might have to think twice about this one.
A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip
of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency
room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied.
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?'
'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, &
then I thought, 'I just paid $6, 000.00 for these implants...
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'
'So then?' asked the doctor..
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000..00
to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'
'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the
trigger.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad
hailstorm.. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it
To a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he
decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the
tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started
blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little
harder, & still nothing happened.
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello!
You need to roll up the windows first.'
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target & came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos.....
It keeps hot things hot, And cold things cold.'
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!'
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked?
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things
cold,' she replied..
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?'
The blonde replied....... 'Two paddle pops & some coffee.'
+++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?'
The blonde replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that
my mother had passed away.'
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why don't you go home for the
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.'
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual.
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde.
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically...
'What's so bad now? Are you going to be okay?' he asks.
'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died, too!'
Blondes Are The Best!!!
Logged
Ulysses #41044; OzSTOC #14
0429796132
I love what I ride and ride what I love
Biggles
NatRally 2018 - Mackay
"Top Dog" 10000 club
Posts: 14059
Thanked: 2509 times
Bridgeman Downs, Brisbane
Re: The Blondes are back...
«
Reply #1 on:
March 28, 2014, 08:37:28 PM »
Good grief! I'll pay the hammer and nail one!
Logged
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine.
Adam Piggott
OzSTOC #16 STOC #6135 FarR #509 IBA #54927
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