Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3072145 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44205 on:** January 16, 2022, 08:33:28 AM »

I told my brother, "I had to take my GPS to the repair shop, for the first time ever."

"How did you find it?" he asked.

I said, "With difficulty."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44206 on:** January 16, 2022, 10:28:38 AM »

What do you call an enlisted woman who can service a car, cook, wash the dishes, mow the lawns, and repair the oven?

Swiss army wife.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44207 on:** January 16, 2022, 10:30:48 AM »

(I had one of those, but she ran off with my best friend.... I never met the guy, but he's my friend for life for taking her off my hands.)

True story.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44208 on:** January 16, 2022, 10:36:16 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44209 on:** January 16, 2022, 10:36:52 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44210 on:** January 16, 2022, 10:57:38 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44211 on:** January 16, 2022, 11:01:43 AM »

An old half deaf husband is watching TV with the wife. They are watching the DIY network on home repairs.
Every time the wife gets up, he flips it to the porn channel not realizing she can hear, and flips it back as she comes back to the room.
This goes on for a few cycles till she comes back from the kitchen and yells at him, "Oh for gods sake Bob! Just leave it on the porn, ...you already know how to hang a shelf!"

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #44212 on:** January 16, 2022, 11:48:12 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44213 on:** January 16, 2022, 01:42:37 PM »

A hot, sweaty farmer walks into a bar and orders a cold beer.
"Dang, our baler broke down in the field today, and its humid and 100+ degrees out," the farmer complains. "I'm so hot and sweaty from repairing that thing that I just want to rip off all my dirty, sweaty clothes and run around the bar in frustration."
"Wait!" the bartender exclaims before reaching under the bar and grabbing a bottle of Windex and spraying the farmer down.
"There. That should stop you from streaking."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44214 on:** January 16, 2022, 01:45:08 PM »

I repaired my drums after my son broke it...

Now he has to deal with the repercussions.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44215 on:** January 16, 2022, 02:55:23 PM »

Sign on the door of a PC repair shop:

Theory is when something doesn't work, but you know why.

Practice is when something works, but you don't know why.

Here we combine practice and theory - nothing works, and we have no idea why.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44216 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:01:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44217 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:03:59 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44218 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:41:36 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44219 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:41:51 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44220 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:45:06 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44221 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:45:25 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44222 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:46:10 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44223 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:46:59 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #44224 on:** January 16, 2022, 03:54:39 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3072145 times)