Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3066295 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8450 on:** July 27, 2018, 01:19:28 AM »

A thief grabbed a tv from an appliance store and ran out the door.

The blonde manager chased him down the street, screaming "Come back! Come back!.... You forgot the remote!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8451 on:** July 27, 2018, 01:23:46 AM »

My friends wife is so blonde that she trips over her cordless phone.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8452 on:** July 27, 2018, 01:24:50 AM »

Brunette: "Where were you born?"
Blonde: "The United States."
Brunette: "Which part?"
Blonde: "All of me!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8453 on:** July 27, 2018, 01:27:11 AM »

A blonde's neighbor's house was on fire so she called 911.
The blonde told the operator, "My neighbor's house is on fire!"
The operator asked, "Where are you?"
The blonde answered, "At my house."
The operator replied, "No, I'm asking how do we get there?"
The blonde said, "Duh! ... haven't you got those big red trucks?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8454 on:** July 27, 2018, 01:30:26 AM »

A blonde died when she was struck by lightning.

She was found with a huge smile on her face.

The Coroner said that she probably thought someone was taking her photo.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8455 on:** July 27, 2018, 02:12:24 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8456 on:** July 27, 2018, 03:17:34 AM »

A blonde friend rang me and said, "I cant find your phone number, can you text it to me?!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8457 on:** July 27, 2018, 03:21:35 AM »

There's a new drug for lesbians on the market to cure depression, it's called Trycoxagain.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8458 on:** July 27, 2018, 03:27:31 AM »

Some people say that the world would be better off, if it was run by women.

Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone?

But instead, we'd probably have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other on a monthly basis.

Gadget · « **Reply #8459 on:** July 27, 2018, 06:12:17 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on July 26, 2018, 01:58:35 PM

Another 3 whales reported in this area 1.45pm today.

Migaloo sighted off Byron Bay yesterday.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8460 on:** July 27, 2018, 10:24:43 AM »

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'.

The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

« **Reply #8461 on:** July 27, 2018, 10:36:49 AM »

What an a***hole !

Shillas · « **Reply #8462 on:** July 27, 2018, 10:51:18 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on July 27, 2018, 10:24:43 AM

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'.

The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8463 on:** July 27, 2018, 04:53:30 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8464 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:14:36 PM »

There was a 2 hour traffic jam in Perth.

4 blonde tourists in 4 cars, going in 4 different directions at a roundabout.

Scary!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8465 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:30:50 PM »

One blonde asks another: “How come meteorites always manage to land in craters?”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8466 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:36:32 PM »

I hate it when homeless guys shake their cups of money at me.

Do they really have to rub it in that they’ve got more cash than I do?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8467 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:38:21 PM »

Why is the drain on my washing machine blocked?

And more importantly, has anyone seen my hamster?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8468 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:43:24 PM »

A woman knocked on the door of her male neighbor, aggressively asking if he knew anything about her underwear disappearing from the clothes line.

I can tell you, he nearly shit her pants.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8469 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:49:48 PM »

Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice long walk?
-
Oh Harry, that would be lovely!
-
Wonderful! ... Bring me some beer and a pack of cigarettes on your way home.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8470 on:** July 27, 2018, 05:55:05 PM »

A smoothie.

The art of selling somebody a shredded banana, and charging them $5 for it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8471 on:** July 27, 2018, 06:39:04 PM »

A Chinese student is looking for an inexpensive room to rent.
He finds one, but the owner warns him, “Yes, you can have the room. But we have a dog and two cats. I hope you like them.”
“No problem,” beams the student, “I’m happy to eat anything!”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8472 on:** July 27, 2018, 08:13:26 PM »

The view of a female cleavage reduces the concentration of a male by 50%

(per breast)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8473 on:** July 27, 2018, 08:23:22 PM »

Kim Jong-Un looked at a skinny North Korean peasant and said "When I see you, I think there must be a famine!"

The peasant replied "When I see you, I realise who is responsible for the food shortage!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #8474 on:** July 27, 2018, 08:28:03 PM »

My ex treats me like a God.

She mostly ignores my existance, and only approaches me when she wants something.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3066295 times)