Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927501 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14300 on: October 04, 2019, 12:01:30 PM »
Oscar Pistorius won eight medals in the Paralympics.
Six gold medals, a silver medal, and a bronze medal.

But he will always feel de-feeted.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14301 on: October 04, 2019, 12:04:02 PM »
Everyone has heard of the "Stone Age", the "Bronze Age", and the "Iron Age."...
Some say that we're now in the "Information Age."
I'd say that we've passed through the Information Age, and a consequence of it has been a proliferation in lawsuits and other legal actions.
All of this information is being used as a weapon, wielded by attorneys in courts.
We are now in the age of the Lawyer - the Sue Age!

... therefore, we are now in deep shite.
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14302 on: October 04, 2019, 01:14:35 PM »
My friend keeps saying "Cheer up, it could be worse. You could be stuck underground in a hole full of water".

I know he means well.
Shillas :13Candy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14303 on: October 04, 2019, 01:32:48 PM »
My neighbours listen to an awful lot of AC-DC, Deep Purple, U2, Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac music.



... whether they like it, or not.
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14304 on: October 04, 2019, 02:03:52 PM »
It's a 10 minute walk from my house to the pub.

It's a 45 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering!
Shillas :13Candy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14305 on: October 04, 2019, 02:11:11 PM »
 :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14306 on: October 04, 2019, 02:14:01 PM »
My missus told me to stop singing Smashmouth songs.

I said "Hey now..."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14307 on: October 04, 2019, 02:48:43 PM »
Then she told me to stop singing ‘I’m a believer’ by the Monkees, at first I thought she was joking...

...but then I saw her face ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt9i6yqvvyg
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14308 on: October 04, 2019, 02:58:39 PM »
My missus told me to stop singing Smashmouth songs.

I said "Hey now..."

Hey now, you're a porn star.
Get your gear off, go ...

Is that how it went?
 
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Online NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14309 on: October 04, 2019, 03:18:57 PM »
 reminds me of a place I used to work at in Melbourne 5 minutes to walk to the pub 15 to walk back to work.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14310 on: October 04, 2019, 04:03:29 PM »
Then she told me to stop singing ‘I’m a believer’ by the Monkees, at first I thought she was joking...

...but then I saw her face ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gt9i6yqvvyg

No doubt in your mind?
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14311 on: October 04, 2019, 05:09:27 PM »
None whatsoever.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14312 on: October 04, 2019, 05:44:21 PM »
So, was just the bees knees, the ducks guts, the dogs balls, eh?

It was the dog's bollocks.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14313 on: October 04, 2019, 05:48:01 PM »
 "WOOF!" (in a high pitched voice) :rofl :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14314 on: October 04, 2019, 06:01:56 PM »
He had been working as an archaeologist in Iraq for a number of years ...

Really been enjoying his time there, and feels that his work in the field is bringing a small amount of joy to the lives of citizens who have known great violence and terror.

He was recently working in a separatist region of the country, on a dig. He discovered a dinosaur fossil that could possibly have enormous impact on the whole field! He immediately became incredibly excited, and ran up to two locals who were strolling in the area and exclaimed the brilliance of his find.

However, in their native Kurdish which he learnt on his travels, they just glanced back nonchalantly. They merely replied 'We do not care about such things'

It seems that despite what they say ... you can't thrill two Kurds with one bone.
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14315 on: October 04, 2019, 06:10:40 PM »
Any members fit this?  ;-*

Shillas :13Candy

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XV 750 - reasonably long gone
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14316 on: October 04, 2019, 06:11:33 PM »
I was volunteering at the library the other day, when a woman asked if I knew any good authors of dinosaur books.

I said. "Try Sarah Topps".
Shillas :13Candy

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XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14317 on: October 04, 2019, 06:18:26 PM »
Today my wife was conned into buying a really terrible old mirror.

It reflects very poorly on her.
Shillas :13Candy

CB 125 - long gone
RD 200 - long gone
CB 250T - long gone
XJ 650 - reasonably long gone
XV 750 - reasonably long gone
VN 800 - gone
ST 1100 - recently gone
ST 1300 - In the garage
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14318 on: October 04, 2019, 06:20:59 PM »
Native Americans reached America first, because they had reservations.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14319 on: October 04, 2019, 06:22:54 PM »
Napoleon may not have designed the coat that he wore…

... But he did have a hand in it.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14320 on: October 04, 2019, 06:29:48 PM »
I was volunteering at the library the other day, when a woman asked if I knew any good authors of dinosaur books.

I said. "Try Sarah Topps".

No to Sarah Topps
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14321 on: October 04, 2019, 06:32:52 PM »
Napoleon may not have designed the coat that he wore…

... But he did have a hand in it.

Asked if it could be improved Churchill said he had two suggestions, Hitler waved it away and Kim Jung Un's response left his people in tears.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14322 on: October 04, 2019, 07:24:57 PM »
Will glass coffins be a success?


... Remains to be seen.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14323 on: October 04, 2019, 07:26:48 PM »
I just had a near-sex experience…


... My whole wife flashed before my eyes.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14324 on: October 04, 2019, 07:28:10 PM »
Not one to beat my own drum, but I have been a big Taiko fan since the 1980's.
 
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