Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3065292 times)

« **Reply #14350 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:00:33 AM »

I suggested to him there was a position advertised for a company that makes kaleidoscopes. He'll look into it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14351 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:26:40 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14352 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:33:17 AM »

For all States that forrow the practice, don't forget to push your crocs fwd.... or you will be rate for work.

How do the farmers get their dairy cows to adjust to daylight savings?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14353 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:39:17 AM »

Stalin was visiting a small town in Russia.
Huge crowd was there to receive him, holding signs with words of praise for Stalin, Party, Union etc.

Among them, secret police officers spotted a particularly old man holding a sign saying "Thank you comrade Stalin, for a happy childhood!"

Officers approached him angrily. "What is this, some kind of mockery!?
You must be at least 80 years old, comrade Stalin wasn't even born when you were a child!"

Old man said - "That's exactly what I'm thankful for!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14354 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:42:55 AM »

It was a golden era before the internet.

In those days, only your family and friends knew how stupid you were.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14355 on:** October 06, 2019, 03:32:49 AM »

A smartphone user is browsing the internet at a funeral.

He asks the priest sitting next to him, "do you have the wifi password"?

Looking at him in disgust the priest exclaims, "Show respect for the dead!"

The smartphone user replies, "All lowercase"?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14356 on:** October 06, 2019, 03:38:59 AM »

Vegans who drink water disgust me.

That's a fish's home, you filthy savages!

Bodø · « **Reply #14357 on:** October 06, 2019, 03:47:22 AM »

Scales of injustice

Wild Rose · « **Reply #14358 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:34:41 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on October 06, 2019, 02:33:17 AM

For all States that forrow the practice, don't forget to push your crocs fwd.... or you will be rate for work.

How do the farmers get their dairy cows to adjust to daylight savings?

My curtains are starting to fade already and it is only 6.35 in real time not this pretend time

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14359 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:45:19 AM »

Reports of flooding in Pakistan.

Authorities fear it is the work of a suicide plumber.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14360 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:46:28 AM »

A charity single has been released in aid of Pakistan flood relief...

"Raindrops keep falling on Ahmed..."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14361 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:54:24 AM »

Kim Jong-un has made it law, that all North Koreans subscribe to Donald Trumps twitter account as a means to avoid nuclear war.

They know that Trump will not launch, if it means he will lose 75 million subscribers.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14362 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:25:46 PM »

A blonde walked onto Wimbldon tennis courts naked.

(The sign said tennis shoes only)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14363 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:31:38 PM »

My wife went to bed early, so I turned on the TV ... Womens tennis match was on.

Only 3 serves before my wife called "Turn that bloody porn off!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14364 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:38:12 PM »

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were asking $40 !!!

Bugger that!, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Bodø · « **Reply #14365 on:** October 06, 2019, 02:52:06 PM »

Wait until she sees it. She'll say fangs!

Shillas · « **Reply #14366 on:** October 06, 2019, 05:58:09 PM »

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight.

Not unless you're prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14367 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:04:30 PM »

« **Reply #14368 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:06:47 PM »

Quote from: Shillas on October 06, 2019, 05:58:09 PM

Never challenge Death to a pillow fight.
Not unless you're prepared to handle the reaper cushions.

Melvin him and you'll be fine.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14369 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:09:40 PM »

I'd bale him up.

Bodø · « **Reply #14370 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:14:58 PM »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xhFPtBKPpA

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14371 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:23:58 PM »

Supa wedgie!

Shillas · « **Reply #14372 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:53:47 PM »

For all those having to deal with daylight saving.

Bodø · « **Reply #14373 on:** October 06, 2019, 06:59:16 PM »

Phone - did itself

Tablet -same

House clocks - manually adjusted

Bike - left as is

Bike's dashcam - left as is

Mobius camera - left as is

Gopro - left as is

Digital camera - left as is

Computer - time zone is set to Darwin so it matches all my cameras.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #14374 on:** October 06, 2019, 07:01:29 PM »

My neighbour works at Woolies... She was late for work this morning.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3065292 times)

Bodø

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