Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3070948 times)

Bodø · « **Reply #9150 on:** September 18, 2018, 02:11:08 PM »

There's a time and a place for everything, but more often than not public transport isn't one of them.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9151 on:** September 18, 2018, 02:19:38 PM »

From personal experience, Bodø?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9152 on:** September 18, 2018, 03:36:15 PM »

Little Johnny was walking down the street with a cigarette in his mouth when some guy said too him:
"Hey!, you are way too young to smoke, how old are you?"
Johnny replied "I'm seven!"
The bloke asked "And when did you start smoking?"
Johnny responded "Right after the first time I got laid!"
"Good lord!" said the man... "And how long ago was that?"
Johnny scratched his head, "I dunno, I was too drunk to remember!"

PC · « **Reply #9153 on:** September 18, 2018, 05:01:48 PM »

How a committee works was explained to me like this

A Camel is a Horse that was designed by a committee

After my experience with committees I thought it was spot on

Bodø · « **Reply #9154 on:** September 18, 2018, 06:07:15 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on September 18, 2018, 02:19:38 PM

From personal experience, Bodø?

The time and place thing is personal. There's almost one instance every day I think this and it usually involves mobile phones.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9155 on:** September 18, 2018, 07:04:53 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9156 on:** September 18, 2018, 07:15:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9157 on:** September 18, 2018, 07:20:55 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9158 on:** September 18, 2018, 08:39:08 PM »

Hmmm??? A big ziggety zaggy lightning flash, a crack of thunder that rumbled on for ten seconds or more, and now the rain is pelting down again.

.. and it was such fair weather earlier today. C'mon now, isn't winter supposed to be over?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9159 on:** September 18, 2018, 08:40:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9160 on:** September 18, 2018, 08:43:52 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9161 on:** September 18, 2018, 10:18:26 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9162 on:** September 18, 2018, 10:19:45 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9163 on:** September 19, 2018, 12:23:52 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9164 on:** September 19, 2018, 05:19:45 AM »

Trump really supports re-cycling.
I wonder when Melania reaches her use-by date?
Ah well, he will just go buy another migrant.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9165 on:** September 19, 2018, 05:21:30 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9166 on:** September 19, 2018, 05:30:51 AM »

Canadians are really excited about Trumps wall ... They want one too!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9167 on:** September 19, 2018, 05:49:14 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9168 on:** September 19, 2018, 10:48:45 AM »

There’s that moment when you put your steak on the grill, and your mouth waters from that amazing smell.

Do you vegans feel the same way when you mow the lawn?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9169 on:** September 19, 2018, 10:52:22 AM »

A wife hangs up after about twenty minutes on the phone.
The husband is surprised, “Wow, that was quick - usually you are yapping on the phone for more than an hour!”
“Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9170 on:** September 19, 2018, 10:56:21 AM »

If I got 50 cents for every math exam that I failed, I’d have $6.30 now.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9171 on:** September 19, 2018, 12:10:00 PM »

Fantastic aerobic exercise that really helps you to lose weight:

When tempted, turn your head to the left.
Good.
Then turn your head to the right.
Very good.

Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9172 on:** September 19, 2018, 01:58:49 PM »

A man farts unintentionally but loudly at a bar.

Another man looks absolutely scandalized and says, “How dare you fart in front of my wife?!”

The farter looks even more devastated and says, “I’m sorry – I wasn’t aware it was her turn…”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9173 on:** September 19, 2018, 02:19:09 PM »

A man pulls up his car at a red light next to a woman in her car.
He opens his windows and glances at the woman.
The woman also opens the window and looks across at him questioningly.
The man smiles and says: “Ah, you too? Gas is a bitch, isn’t it.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #9174 on:** September 19, 2018, 05:27:14 PM »

Did you know that you can train a cat to do anything the cat wants to do, but only at the moment it wants to do it.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3070948 times)

Bodø

Bodø