Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2925043 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17400 on: March 26, 2020, 10:29:32 AM »
A politician visited an outback town, and asked what their needs were.
"We have two (2) basic needs, replied the towners "Firstly, we have a hospital but no doctor."

On hearing this, the politician brought out his phone, and had a vigorous conversation. After speaking for a while, he told them "Not to worry, a doctor will be here tomorrow! What is the second problem?"

"...Secondly, we have no phone service here?".
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17401 on: March 26, 2020, 01:13:05 PM »
The French have come up with a more efficient way of sharing files electronically.


... It’s a Pierre-to-Pierre network.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17402 on: March 26, 2020, 01:24:56 PM »
Funniest scam email ever... claims that my student loan monthly repayment is overdue!  :rofl :rofl :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17403 on: March 26, 2020, 02:35:24 PM »
Credit cards have three dimensions.

... length, width, and debt.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17404 on: March 26, 2020, 02:37:04 PM »
Like that joke they have a use by date.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17405 on: March 26, 2020, 02:53:04 PM »
I'm going through a divorce at the moment, and my soon to be ex-wife said that when she is finished, she will ensure that my bank balance is zero.


That's rather nice of her, to pay off all my debts.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17406 on: March 26, 2020, 02:55:25 PM »
Funniest scam email ever... claims that my student loan monthly repayment is overdue!  :rofl :rofl :rofl

I think university education was free in your day.
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17407 on: March 26, 2020, 02:56:45 PM »
Too true!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17408 on: March 26, 2020, 05:14:52 PM »
A bus driver was heading down a street.
He went right through a stop sign without stopping.
Next he turned left where there was a "no-left turn" sign.
Finally he went the wrong way down a one-way street.

Bodø, can you tell me why he didn't break any traffic laws?

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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17409 on: March 26, 2020, 05:17:10 PM »
He was a pedestrian on a footpath.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17410 on: March 26, 2020, 05:18:14 PM »
Yep, his day off work.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17411 on: March 26, 2020, 05:22:12 PM »
It doesn't necessarily have to be his day off.
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17412 on: March 26, 2020, 05:23:35 PM »
Maybe he missed his bus?
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Bodø

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However, if the stop sign is a red man in pedestrian lights then he is breaking the law.  *@#!king aresholes do that a lot in Adelaide.
 

Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17414 on: March 26, 2020, 05:24:48 PM »
Maybe he missed his bus?

Lunch break, before/after work, time between runs... possibilities are endless.
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17415 on: March 26, 2020, 06:30:01 PM »
A guy wants a divorce.

He said to the judge "I cant take it anymore, she's out going from bar to bar every night, until way past midnight!"

The judge responds "What's she doing?"

The guy says "Looking for me!"
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17416 on: March 26, 2020, 08:44:58 PM »
Funniest scam email ever... claims that my student loan monthly repayment is overdue!  :rofl :rofl :rofl

I think university education was free in your day.

Did they even have uni's back then?  :whistle  :Stirpot


        2005 Honda ST1300A
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17417 on: March 27, 2020, 12:17:51 AM »
I love the way the earth spins.

It makes my day.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17418 on: March 27, 2020, 12:35:21 AM »
The best way to prevent Trump from drowning, would be to shoot him in the head.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17419 on: March 27, 2020, 12:36:44 AM »
Why is it so damned hard to plug a qsn stick in the right way up!

Dammit, I mean a usb stick.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17420 on: March 27, 2020, 02:50:27 AM »
Mechanics might disagree, but...

... technically, eyedrops  are blinker fluid.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17421 on: March 27, 2020, 03:13:36 AM »
All countries will eventually get coronavirus but China got it right off the bat.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17422 on: March 27, 2020, 07:52:40 AM »
Dad:“Son, I killed 15 people in Vietnam.”

Son: "Dad, you were a helicopter mechanic?"

Dad: "Never said I was a good one!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17423 on: March 27, 2020, 03:16:28 PM »
So, you don't trust a doctor to stitch you up after surgery?

Fine. Suture self.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17424 on: March 27, 2020, 03:21:48 PM »
My surgeon is actually quite a comedian.

His last three procedures left me in stitches!
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