Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3019293 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17425 on:** March 27, 2020, 07:20:46 PM »

A long time ago, I was playing soccer with a midget.

I got arrested for assault.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17426 on:** March 27, 2020, 09:20:44 PM »

6.45 p.m. Friday night ... I get an SMS from my girlfriend: 'Me or football?!'

11 p.m. I reply: 'You of course.'

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17427 on:** March 27, 2020, 10:39:04 PM »

With no footy on the tele you could've replied at 6.46 and earn't some extra brownie points, Kev...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17428 on:** March 27, 2020, 10:57:00 PM »

Who said I was watching footy?

Maybe I already scored?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17429 on:** March 27, 2020, 11:07:18 PM »

What do you call a legless Spanish footballer?

Gracias.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17430 on:** March 28, 2020, 01:39:38 AM »

My friend David just emailed me from Israel to tell me that the first
Israeli death attributed to the virus has just been announced.

It was a man who had been in isolation for two weeks with his wife.

She strangled him…

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17431 on:** March 28, 2020, 02:00:12 AM »

Went to Woolies today to get cat food. Very uncomfortable. Uniformed Security Guard standing near checkouts.
Was treated like a leper at the Post Office, with staff standing back from the counter, and thrusting transaction receipts across counter at arms length. Am feeling a bit fragile.

Many shops are closed in town, and little traffic on the roads, last cruise ship that was due here last weekend was turned away because of non-existent 'high winds', and the harbour is now closed with mountains of timber and woodchips piled high on the shipping wharf. Will get a photo later today.
Social media reports that there are now a couple of cases of the virus here in town. (Probably from the last cruise ship which was here 4 weeks ago, which is now quarantined off Perth)

NTRebel · « **Reply #17432 on:** March 28, 2020, 08:12:05 AM »

We've got 2 cases here but it's only a

and his wife from one of the indigenous communities.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17433 on:** March 28, 2020, 08:14:37 AM »

Still too many. Stay safe Paul.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17434 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:15:18 AM »

Just topped the tank on the bike, was informed that as of mid next week they will no longer do cash transactions.

This will be confusing, because I pay cash for everything.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17435 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:22:51 AM »

Picked up a novelty item at the Post Office this morning.

Its not what you think, it's a pen!

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17436 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:32:37 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on March 28, 2020, 10:15:18 AM

Just topped the tank on the bike, was informed that as of mid next week they will no longer do cash transactions.

This will be confusing, because I pay cash for everything.

I was like you, Kev, I paid with cash nearly all the time...but, times are a changin',....time to break out the plastic!

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17437 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:34:37 AM »

Just looked in my wallet, and besides all the moths that just flew out, I have the some total of $5 in cash there...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17438 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:35:17 AM »

I don't have a plastic. Never needed one before now.

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17439 on:** March 28, 2020, 10:56:02 AM »

You're in trouble then...

Bodø · « **Reply #17440 on:** March 28, 2020, 11:14:23 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on March 28, 2020, 10:22:51 AM

Picked up a novelty item at the Post Office this morning.

Its not what you think, it's a pen!

Looks like someone threw a spanner in the works.

Bodø · « **Reply #17441 on:** March 28, 2020, 11:15:13 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on March 28, 2020, 10:15:18 AM

Just topped the tank on the bike, was informed that as of mid next week they will no longer do cash transactions.

This will be confusing, because I pay cash for everything.

Same here.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17442 on:** March 28, 2020, 01:46:40 PM »

Another word for dementia.

Memopause.

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17443 on:** March 28, 2020, 02:09:29 PM »

Okay.

A test to see if your brain is still working.

Which one do you think is the blonde?

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17444 on:** March 28, 2020, 02:12:14 PM »

The Blonde is the one with the wrong leg up...

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17445 on:** March 28, 2020, 02:15:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17446 on:** March 28, 2020, 03:32:04 PM »

Public toilets.

Guy called from the next cubicle "Got any paper there?"

I replied "Which do you prefer, Herald Sun or yesterdays greasy fish and chip wrap?"

ruSTynutz · « **Reply #17447 on:** March 28, 2020, 03:42:59 PM »

It would have to be the fish & chip wrap as the Herald Sun isn't worth wiping ya bum on!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17448 on:** March 28, 2020, 03:44:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #17449 on:** March 28, 2020, 04:49:30 PM »

View of the harbour here today. There is currently a ship in loading, but this will be the last one for awhile.

The stockpile of timber and woodchips on the wharf is the equivalent of around 25 / 30 shiploads.

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3019293 times)

Bodø

Bodø