Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2921534 times)

Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16325 on: February 01, 2020, 02:08:16 AM »
My wife looked me in the eyes and said "Honey, they're not wrinkles, or old age, they're laughter lines."

Nicest thing anyone's ever said about my scrotum.

I hear there's a cure for those wrinkles, but it's a bit of a stretch.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16326 on: February 01, 2020, 02:54:38 AM »
 :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16327 on: February 01, 2020, 02:56:46 AM »
I happened to be in court, when I noticed a wrinkled old lady with grey hair sat up high...
I asked her, "You mind if I ask how old you are?"

She shouted back, "Thirty, love!"

I thought she was just messing with me so I replied, "No, really, how old are you?"

She yelled at me, "Forty, love!"

I realised then I should get back to my tennis match.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16328 on: February 01, 2020, 03:01:01 AM »
I bought a pug pup for my wife.


Despite the bulging eyes, wrinkles, the layers of fat and the drool, the pug seems to like her.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16329 on: February 01, 2020, 03:54:33 AM »
I happened to be in court, when I noticed a wrinkled old lady with grey hair sat up high...
I asked her, "You mind if I ask how old you are?"

She shouted back, "Thirty, love!"

I thought she was just messing with me so I replied, "No, really, how old are you?"

She yelled at me, "Forty, love!"

I realised then I should get back to my tennis match.

Did you get turned on when she said "new balls please"?
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16330 on: February 01, 2020, 04:44:25 AM »
I need new boots and I have been extremely disappointed wih my last two pairs of dririders so threw it out to the crowd on the Ozstrøm page on what members recommend. First two replies suggested the Forma Adventure boot so I googled that.
.
Save zero percent. I like that kind of honesty. 🤣
.
It looks like I am going for a ride to AMX this morning.

« Last Edit: February 01, 2020, 07:51:23 AM by Bodø »
 
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Offline richo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16331 on: February 01, 2020, 07:08:31 AM »
That is a great discount. 🤪. got my forma boots a few years back and can’t fault them
Richo
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16332 on: February 01, 2020, 09:40:10 AM »
Looks like a great boot.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16333 on: February 01, 2020, 09:42:15 AM »
Appears that Mount Gambier really got pizzled on overnight... 66 mm?

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16334 on: February 01, 2020, 12:59:34 PM »
Son: "Dad...what's Mum putting on her face?"

Dad: "That's her Wrinkle Cream son."

Son: "Mum that cream is really working...you've got loads of wrinkles!"
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16335 on: February 01, 2020, 01:23:00 PM »
I was was trying on a new pair of sneakers today
I said to the assistant, ‘They're too tight’.

She said, ‘Try it with the tongue out.’

I said, ‘It’th thnil nho ghood, thearh thtill thoo thight!’
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16336 on: February 01, 2020, 02:52:52 PM »
A wild rabbit was caught and taken to a National Institute of Health laboratory. When he arrived, he was befriended by a rabbit that had been born and raised in the lab.

One evening the wild rabbit noticed that his cage hadn't been properly closed and decided to make a break for freedom. He invited the lab rabbit to join him. The lab rabbit was unsure, as he had never been outside the lab, but the wild rabbit finally convinced him to give it a try.

Once they were free, the wild rabbit said, "I'll show you the number-three best field," and took the lab rabbit to a field full of lettuce.

After they had eaten their fill, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number-two best field," and took the lab rabbit to a field full of carrots.

After they had their fill of carrots, the wild rabbit said, "Now I'll show you the number-one best field," and took the lab rabbit to a warren full of female bunnies. It was Heaven—nonstop lovemaking all night long.

As dawn was beginning to break, the lab rabbit announced that he would have to be getting back to the lab.

"Why?" said the wild rabbit. "I've shown you the three best fields in the wild, why do you want to go back to the lab?"

The other rabbit replied, "I can't help it. I'm dying for a cigarette!"
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16337 on: February 01, 2020, 02:55:14 PM »
What did the Seven Dwarfs sing when they met a pair of prostitutes?

"Hi Ho, Hi Ho...."
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16338 on: February 01, 2020, 04:21:44 PM »
Bought a new pair of shoes this morning - clerk said they might be a bit tight for the first 3 or 4 days.


That’s fine I said - I’m not gonna wear them until next weekend.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16339 on: February 01, 2020, 04:27:19 PM »
Yesterday I got 3 IPhone Xs, two MacBooks and a pair of earpods, all for $5

That crowbar from Bunnings was worth every cent!
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16340 on: February 01, 2020, 05:45:11 PM »
I bought a cake that looks like a pair of breasts.

... So I can have my cake and eat tit too.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16341 on: February 01, 2020, 06:00:19 PM »
I bought a cake that looks like a pair of breasts.
... So I can have my cake and eat tit too.

I've got a hoto from Japan I took in 2016 that can relate to this, if I can find it.
 
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16342 on: February 01, 2020, 06:02:22 PM »
Found them.  Tit bread:



 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16343 on: February 01, 2020, 07:35:25 PM »
 :rofl :thumb
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16344 on: February 01, 2020, 07:35:54 PM »
When my wife starts to sing, I always go outside and do some garden work so that our neighbours can see there's no domestic violence going on.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16345 on: February 01, 2020, 09:41:02 PM »
Hm... 0nly 20 minutes to create, produce and publish this to YouTube. Only 25 seconds of your time....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThutRkm46Qc
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16346 on: February 01, 2020, 09:55:42 PM »
Steppenwolf lead singer has been decapitated in a motorbike accident...


... They found his head out on the highway...
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16347 on: February 02, 2020, 07:37:07 AM »
Looked like a nice day today at 7am... but rain from the southwest started a few minutes ago.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16348 on: February 02, 2020, 07:51:49 AM »
Good to see you're getting that precipitation I sent down to you. :Stirpot :Stirpot :Stirpot
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16349 on: February 02, 2020, 08:31:40 AM »
Didn't last long Paul, had about 5 mm.
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