Author Topic: Three Holy Men and a Bear  (Read 2032 times)

Offline JuST Peter

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Three Holy Men and a Bear
« on: June 21, 2012, 11:39:10 AM »
A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.

One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.

Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.

So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation.'


Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus..Hallelujah!


The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....

circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
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Online Brock

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #1 on: June 21, 2012, 11:51:08 AM »
 :thumbsup :thumbsup :crackup :crackup :crackup
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Offline Poppy Dave

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2012, 12:08:22 PM »
 :crackup :crackup :crackup :rofl :rofl :rofl :-++ :-++ :-++
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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2012, 12:09:17 PM »
 :eek :eek :eek
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Online Biggles

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2012, 09:59:45 PM »
Unbearable.
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Offline Malcolm6112

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2012, 11:47:11 PM »
Shocking

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Offline Aj1300

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Re: Three Holy Men and a Bear
« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2012, 12:17:04 PM »
 |-i :|||| :blk13
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