Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3055967 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29300 on:** April 14, 2021, 01:30:03 PM »

My ears were exposed to a high frequency sound...

I said "It hertz."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29301 on:** April 14, 2021, 01:31:41 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29302 on:** April 14, 2021, 03:07:40 PM »

The sewer system is broken and is blocked. Maintenance crew arrived.
The old experienced guy jumps into the sewer and asks the young apprentice to pass him a tool, then another one.
Finally, after it's fixed, he gets out of the sewer, covered in crap from head to feet and says:
"Learn from the master, otherwise the only thing you will ever do is pass the tools!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29303 on:** April 14, 2021, 04:41:40 PM »

My new air filtration system has been the biggest waste of money.
It just sits there and collects dust.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29304 on:** April 14, 2021, 04:43:21 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29305 on:** April 14, 2021, 05:29:28 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29306 on:** April 14, 2021, 05:30:21 PM »

Click image to enlarge

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29307 on:** April 14, 2021, 05:44:20 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29308 on:** April 14, 2021, 07:45:22 PM »

Bob and a few of his co-workers go out to lunch to celebrate Bob's birthday.
Bob, Tim, and Susan are sitting together in the booth when the waitress approaches. She hands them their menus and says, "Good afternoon fellas! Welcome to Ruby Taste Kitchen! Before we get started, might I ask if you're here to celebrate a special occasion?"

Susan pipes up, "It's Bob's birthday!"

"Oh well happy birthday! Make sure you save room because you'll get a free dessert!"

Tim and Susan smile and nod, but Bob looks a bit confused. He asks her to repeat herself.

"Sure thing, happy birthday! Save room, and you'll get a free dessert."

There's a moment of silence before Bob says, "Uh .. Vroom, vroom!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29309 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:12:07 PM »

Why do they call rappers 'singers'? all they do is talk over a music background.

Anyone can do that while in the checkout at the supermarket.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29310 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:28:15 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29311 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:29:28 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29312 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:30:20 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29313 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:41:39 PM »

Alcoholism is a disease, but its the only disease that you can get verbally abused for having.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29314 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:46:17 PM »

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29315 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:53:57 PM »

A couple of months ago, he gave his girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at him.

She scowled, "Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for YOU, than it is for me!"

And Anthony replied, "If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my EX-girlfriend!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29316 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:54:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29317 on:** April 14, 2021, 08:57:48 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29318 on:** April 14, 2021, 09:44:43 PM »

Just another wannabe ...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29319 on:** April 14, 2021, 09:47:05 PM »

Solar systems are bad business partners.

Most are only one star rated, and the best have only 3 stars.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29320 on:** April 14, 2021, 09:53:13 PM »

"Vroom! Screech! Vroom! Screech! Vroom! Screech!"

(Blonde driver at a flashing red light)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29321 on:** April 14, 2021, 09:56:22 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29322 on:** April 14, 2021, 09:59:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29323 on:** April 14, 2021, 10:11:50 PM »

So ... What happens in the USA when a black cop shoots a white person??

NOTHING!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #29324 on:** April 14, 2021, 10:26:14 PM »

Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt.
Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch.
He mentioned having a headache, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3055967 times)