An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"
While Bob was sunbathing naked at the beach at Green Valley, for the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman, you'd lift your hat.."
He raised an eyebrow and replied, "Madam, if you were better looking, it would lift itself."
Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
Old age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you
You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
