Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2888264 times)

Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18650 on: June 02, 2020, 01:42:40 PM »


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18651 on: June 02, 2020, 01:44:17 PM »
 :rofl :rofl :crackup
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18652 on: June 02, 2020, 01:46:11 PM »


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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18653 on: June 02, 2020, 01:48:21 PM »


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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18654 on: June 02, 2020, 02:21:25 PM »


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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18655 on: June 02, 2020, 02:57:45 PM »
... and when you did finally pass them, why did you pull over so they could overtake? :think1
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18656 on: June 02, 2020, 04:05:32 PM »
Well you can't use your camera while driving, you need to be stationary.
Shillas :13Candy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18657 on: June 02, 2020, 04:07:15 PM »
3 cheers for dashcam videos! :grin
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18658 on: June 02, 2020, 04:17:57 PM »
... and when you did finally pass them, why did you pull over so they could overtake? :think1

I had to as it's dangerous to drive when distracted...  :whistle



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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18659 on: June 02, 2020, 05:26:13 PM »
 :rofl
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18660 on: June 03, 2020, 05:03:13 AM »
An Irishman walked into a railway station and presented himself at the ticket counter.
“I’d like a return ticket,” he asked.
“Where to?”
“To here!” said the Irishman.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18661 on: June 03, 2020, 05:05:21 AM »
O’Malley is leaving his favourite bar when he is run over by a bus.

He gets to the gates of heaven and St Peter tells him he cannot enter unless he passes a test.
O’Malley agrees to try as he never was the brightest bulb in the box.

St Peter decides to go easy on him. “What has five fingers and is made of black leather?” he asks.
O’Malley scratches his head, thinks hard and finally gives up.
“It’s a glove,” says St Peter. “Let’s try again. What has 10 fingers and is made of black leather?”
O’Malley is clearly stumped. After a few minutes of pacing in a circle and scratching his head, he gives up.
“Why, it’s TWO gloves – don’t you see? Ten fingers, black leather?” says St. Peter, amazed.
Being in a generous mood, St Peter decides to give O’Malley one final chance and thinks of an even easier question.
“Okay. Who is the patron saint of Ireland?” he asks, thinking surely O’Malley can’t miss this.
“It wouldn’t be three gloves, would it?” says O’Malley.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18662 on: June 03, 2020, 05:16:23 AM »
O’Rourke, the barber, was hearing complaints from his customer about the price of his services.

“I tell you O’Rourke, you Dublin barbers have a stranglehold on the citizens. I was in New York just last month, and you charge me double what they charge there.”

“That may be true, Sir,” said the barber, “but think of the airfare!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18663 on: June 03, 2020, 05:18:55 AM »
An Irishman and an American were sitting in the bar at Dublin airport.

“I’ve come to meet my brother,” said the Irishman. “He’s due to fly in from America in an hour’s time.
It’s his first trip home in forty years”.
“Will you be able to recognise him?” asked the American.
“I’m sure I won’t,” said the Irishman. “After all, he’s been away for a long time”.
“I wonder if he’ll recognise you?” said the American.
“Of course he will,” said the Irishman. “Sure, an’ I haven’t been away at all!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18664 on: June 03, 2020, 05:29:09 AM »
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.


Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians, ignored by Americans, and therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!


Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.


Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18665 on: June 03, 2020, 05:31:30 AM »
How do you know if you're a bogan?

You allow your 15 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table.
...in front of her kids.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18666 on: June 03, 2020, 05:33:42 AM »
New Zealanders love their rowing.

Primarily because they sit down and go backwards.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18667 on: June 03, 2020, 05:42:11 AM »
A guy started marketing his own home brew.

Advertised it, as being produced by loose local tarts...

... or as he put it, 'Ho - made' ...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18668 on: June 03, 2020, 11:56:35 AM »
Racism is rife right here in Australia.


I mean, after all, the Black and Golds have been abusing the Blues in Melbourne for years!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18669 on: June 03, 2020, 12:40:24 PM »
Seems that boat parking is at a premium in Mauritania, West Africa.

Be a miracle if there are any fish left in the sea there?



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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18670 on: June 03, 2020, 06:38:44 PM »
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"

I said, "Wow!"

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18671 on: June 03, 2020, 06:39:52 PM »
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18672 on: June 03, 2020, 06:45:24 PM »
I said to my ex: "Would you like to be the sunshine in my life?"


Her: "Awww... Yes!!!"


Me: "Good, ... Move 92 million miles away from me!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18673 on: June 03, 2020, 06:47:14 PM »
Teacher: "How much is a gram?"


Tyronne: "Uhmm, depends on what you're buying!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18674 on: June 03, 2020, 06:49:46 PM »
Beer Bottle: "You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!"

Mirror: "You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get 7 years bad luck!"

(Condom walks away, laughing)
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