Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2888008 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18675 on: June 03, 2020, 06:53:37 PM »
An elephant saw Tarzan leaving the river naked after bathing, and asked "How the hell do you breathe through THAT?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18676 on: June 03, 2020, 06:59:01 PM »
A Blonde got sick of her parrot and its abusive language, and decided to kill it.

So she took it into the mountains, and threw it off a cliff.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18677 on: June 03, 2020, 08:39:17 PM »
Blonde: "You ever smelled mothballs?"
Redhead: "Yes, I think they smell good."
Blonde: "Wow! ... How did you get your nose between those tiny legs?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18678 on: June 03, 2020, 08:50:46 PM »
Baby calf said to his parents "Why are you eating at this time of night?"

Cow replied "It's our bedtime pasture"

Calf asked "Can I have some too?"

Bull replied "Nope! ... It's pasture bedtime!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18679 on: June 03, 2020, 09:37:16 PM »
Jose is asked to use the word "Cherokee" in a sentence.

He pauses and says, "I lost my house key and now I have to Cherokee with my sister."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18680 on: June 03, 2020, 11:54:47 PM »
Been doing some planning for my next big trip. Seeing as the AGM has been postponed, it has thrown a bit of a spanner into the works.
I was going to continue north after the AGM, and kill two birds with one stone.
I now hope to do a run to Townsville around November/December to visit some friends.
Had a long chat on the phone with them tonight to organise when its mutually suitable.

In the meantime, I am preparing the bike and myself for the next RTE in 10 days time, which is almost an 1100 km run, there and back.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 12:00:54 AM by Kev Murphy »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18681 on: June 04, 2020, 12:12:42 AM »
Husband asked his blonde wife "Why are there no ice cubes in the fridge?"

She replied "I couldn't find a recipe!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18682 on: June 04, 2020, 12:29:42 AM »
Latest Mexican weather forecast.

Chili tonight, and hot tamale.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18683 on: June 04, 2020, 12:32:01 AM »
American buddy asked me if we have a 4th of July in Australia?

I replied "Yep, and a 5th and a 6th too!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18684 on: June 04, 2020, 12:39:17 AM »
Two Irishmen were walking to the annual Dublin Fair, when it starts to rain.

"Paddy, put your umbrella up, it's raining."
"I can't, Mick, it's got holes in it."
"Holes in it? Then why did you bring it with you?"
"I didn't think it would rain!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18685 on: June 04, 2020, 12:42:29 AM »
Never make fun of a paleontologist, or you will get Jurasskicked.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18686 on: June 04, 2020, 06:25:12 AM »
Really good stuff Trump.

Sending armed police and the military into the streets with instructions to shoot civilians.
This will ensure that in less than 6 months they will vote you back into power for another term?

What, you think that the people have the memory span of a goldfish?
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18687 on: June 04, 2020, 09:56:12 AM »
Pretty much... :whistle


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18688 on: June 04, 2020, 10:36:56 AM »
Helium, Curium, and Barium are known as the medical elements,

... because if you can't heal-ium or cure-ium, you bury-um.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18689 on: June 04, 2020, 02:56:15 PM »
Telstra here locally are stuffing around, something to do with 5G, and as a consequence our telephone connections, email and internet are sporadic.

I just had an automatic email download, (which is supposed to update every 15 minutes) and was flooded with 46 emails which date back to 3.18pm yesterday. Have just called a friend back who sent me a text at 6pm last night, and was received at 2.45pm, 10 minutes ago.
Damned frustrating when I find that when I try to update pages on google, I get the message 'Failed connection'

Just tried to find some information online as when everything will return to normal, and Telstra deny that there any current issues.
(and then internet connection was lost again)
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18690 on: June 04, 2020, 03:59:37 PM »
The joys of being with Telstra...   :||||


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18691 on: June 04, 2020, 05:30:29 PM »
When you die Trump, I hope you donate your brain to science.

I hear they're trying to come up with the perfect vacuum.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18692 on: June 04, 2020, 05:35:26 PM »
Back in the PMG days (when the post office and telephones were one Govt utility) I rang from a street phone  (do they still have them??) to report the house phone was down.. The first thing the girl on the phone asked was "Are you calling from that number??"  Of course my reply was "How can I call from the house, if the phone is dead....?)

Things havent really changed much
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Online Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18693 on: June 04, 2020, 05:41:36 PM »
Telstra here locally are stuffing around, something to do with 5G, and as a consequence our telephone connections, email and internet are sporadic.

 :fp Kev, they are using 5G to help spread coronavirus into Portland.

Don't you read the internet?
Shillas :13Candy

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18694 on: June 04, 2020, 06:08:31 PM »
As I only have intermittent connection, its hard to read anything online...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18695 on: June 04, 2020, 07:48:58 PM »
Just got a text from Telstra stating that they are doing some work in the area which may impact phone and internet for the next ten days.

The text message is dated 8.45am June 1st, 3 days ago!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18696 on: June 04, 2020, 07:53:30 PM »
A man went into a bar and saw a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walked over to her and said, "Wow, great legs!"
She is flattered and replied, "You really think so?"
The man responded, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18697 on: June 04, 2020, 10:15:11 PM »
Another chilly night here. Temp is only 4 degrees, almost dead still outside so no wind chill factor.
At least there has been no rain for the past couple of days, but that will change tomorrow night, and continue for the weekend until Monday evening.

Am going to take the cats lead, and head for the warmth of the blankets.
They know when the timer switches the lecky blanket on, and snuck in there a half hour ago.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2020, 10:19:05 PM by Kev Murphy »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18698 on: June 04, 2020, 10:40:19 PM »
Just got a text from Telstra stating that they are doing some work in the area which may impact phone and internet for the next ten days.

The text message is dated 8.45am June 1st, 3 days ago!

I guess they were telling the truth for once!  :rofl


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18699 on: June 05, 2020, 10:50:23 AM »
Phone call this morning, heavily accented "Is this Kebin Morpy?"

I replied "Sorry mate, he doesn't live here anymore" and hung up.
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