Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3051345 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22325 on: October 30, 2020, 07:32:10 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22326 on: October 30, 2020, 07:48:50 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22327 on: October 30, 2020, 09:51:31 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22328 on: October 30, 2020, 09:53:00 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22329 on: October 30, 2020, 09:54:08 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22330 on: October 30, 2020, 09:54:48 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22331 on: October 30, 2020, 10:24:42 PM »
A couple of old cockies, Bob and Jack, were heading off to spend a weekend booked into a posh city hotel. At the last moment, Jack couldn’t go so Bob went on his own.

Checking in late in the evening, he headed straight into the dining room where he saw hors d’oeuvres on the menu. When the waiter returned, Bob ordered “Some of them horse’s doovers…”

Isn’t it amazing what these fancy chefs cook up nowadays?

They were somewhat different to what he expected but thoroughly enjoyable. The waiter returned and asked Bob if he’d like something more, “Soup, perhaps, Sir?” Bob was a bit tired. It was late, so no, he headed up to room 508 to go to bed.

Later in the night, a nurse arrived to give the old Colonel in room 608 an enema. Tired, she got her floors mixed up and, well, Bob got something he never expected.

A couple of days later, back home in his little country town, he met his mate Jack.

“How was the Big Smoke, mate?” asked Jack.

“Aw, pretty good, I s’pose. Reckon you might head in there yourself?”

“Yeah, reckon I might. Why?”

“Jeez, mate,” came the reply, “be careful when you book into one o’ them posh hotels. If you have a meal there, and they ask you to have soup, have it. If you don’t, they’ve got a strange way to make sure you get it!”

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Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22332 on: October 30, 2020, 10:27:06 PM »
1. DOG DIARY

8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM – Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM – Played in the back garden! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!


2. CAT DIARY

Day 983 of my captivity.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22333 on: October 30, 2020, 11:03:51 PM »
A nurse had to take a patient back to her room after surgery.
The woman was still feeling the effects of the anaesthesia and was rather confused.

After the nurse had made her comfortable, she was confronted with four of the woman’s friends who asked: “How is she?”

The nurse replied: “Oh, she’s quite dopey.”

One of the friends said: “We know that, but how is she health wise?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22334 on: October 30, 2020, 11:10:05 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22335 on: October 30, 2020, 11:26:48 PM »
Two women ran into the court of King Solomon, fighting.

“My daughter was to marry this man, but this woman claims that the man was to marry her daughter!” one of them yelled.

“There is a simple solution,” said the King. “I shall cut the man in two and each of your daughters can have a piece.”

“Fine by me!” said the first woman.

“No, don’t, I would rather let the other girl marry him than that!” cried the second.

The King didn’t hesitate for a minute. “Fine.” he said. “The first woman may have him.”

“What?” protested the other? “She wanted him cut in two!”

“Indeed,” said the king. “She shows the true spirit of a mother-in-law!”

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22336 on: October 31, 2020, 12:12:28 AM »
A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede.
They gather around the guide who says: “This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”

A fellow at the front of the crowd asks: “When did that happen?”

“1215,” answers the guide.

The man looks at his watch and says: “Damn! We missed it by half an hour!”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22337 on: October 31, 2020, 12:15:52 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22338 on: October 31, 2020, 02:36:20 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22339 on: October 31, 2020, 02:37:02 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22340 on: October 31, 2020, 02:37:40 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22341 on: October 31, 2020, 02:38:12 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22342 on: October 31, 2020, 02:39:14 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22343 on: October 31, 2020, 02:41:43 AM »
A sales representative stops at a small manufacturing plant and presents a box of cigars to the manager as a gift. “No, thanks,” says the plant manager. “I tried smoking a cigar once and I didn’t like it.”

The sales rep shows his display case and then, hoping to clinch a sale, offers to take the manger out for martinis. “No, thanks,” the plant manager replies. “I tried alcohol once, but didn’t like it.”

Then the salesman glances out the officer window and sees a golf course. “I suppose you play golf”, says the salesman. “I’d like to invite you to be a guest at my club.”

“No, thanks,” the manager says. “I played golf once, but I didn’t like it.”

Just then a young man enters the office. “Let me introduce my son, Bill,” says the plant manager.

“Let me guess,” the salesman replies. “An only child?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22344 on: October 31, 2020, 04:20:13 AM »
There are now 9 million cases of Covid-19 in the USA according to todays news.
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Online Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22345 on: October 31, 2020, 04:34:13 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22346 on: October 31, 2020, 04:34:44 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22347 on: October 31, 2020, 04:35:25 AM »
0428 306 496

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Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • Posts: 95230
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22348 on: October 31, 2020, 04:36:14 AM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • Posts: 95230
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22349 on: October 31, 2020, 04:36:51 AM »
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