OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: JuST Peter on November 04, 2015, 09:09:28 PM

Title: English?
Post by: JuST Peter on November 04, 2015, 09:09:28 PM

Very English!  Stiff upper lip and all that balderdash!
 
 
For my friends who appreciate the finer points of the English language used correctly.
 
 
His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and coughed discreetly.

(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r150/tomcat5252/Mail%20Attachment-9_zps3r79mamf.jpeg) (http://s143.photobucket.com/user/tomcat5252/media/Mail%20Attachment-9_zps3r79mamf.jpeg.html)
"May I ask you a question, My Lord?"

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"Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship.

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"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on."

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"What word is that?" asked His Lordship.

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"Aplomb," My Lord.

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"Now that's a difficult one to explain.
I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure."

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"Thank you, My Lord, but I'm still a little confused."

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"Let me give you an example to make it clearer.
Do you remember a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of
Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"

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"I remember the occasion very well, My Lord.
It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."

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"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when
Wills plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"

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"I was present on that occasion, My Lord, ministering to their needs."

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"While plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply." 

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"I witnessed the incident, My Lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the
thorn and bandage his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."

(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r150/tomcat5252/Mail%20Attachment-8_zpsaiyy5erg.jpeg) (http://s143.photobucket.com/user/tomcat5252/media/Mail%20Attachment-8_zpsaiyy5erg.jpeg.html)

"That evening the hole that the rose made on his thumb was very sore.
Kate had to cut up his venison even though it was extremely tender."

(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r150/tomcat5252/Mail%20Attachment-9_zps3r79mamf.jpeg) (http://s143.photobucket.com/user/tomcat5252/media/Mail%20Attachment-9_zps3r79mamf.jpeg.html)

"Yes, My Lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."

(http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r150/tomcat5252/Mail%20Attachment-8_zpsaiyy5erg.jpeg) (http://s143.photobucket.com/user/tomcat5252/media/Mail%20Attachment-8_zpsaiyy5erg.jpeg.html)

"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee
for Her Ladyship, Kate inquired of Wills with a loud voice,
'Darling, does your prick still throb?'
And you, Carson, did not spill one drop of coffee ?

THAT , Carson, is complete composure, or aplomb.”

Title: Re: English?
Post by: Kev Murphy on November 05, 2015, 12:08:58 AM

I say, that's frightfully funny...