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No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: Wild Rose on January 05, 2016, 05:54:04 AM

Title: Jobs
Post by: Wild Rose on January 05, 2016, 05:54:04 AM
                                                                                                                                                   
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory ,
but I got canned .   Couldn't   concentrate .
 
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack,
but just   couldn't hack it , so they gave me the   axe .

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it   --mainly because it was a sew-sew job, and people liked to hem and haw about the price.
 
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory,
but that   was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker,
but any way   I sliced it.... couldn't cut the mustard.

7. My best job was a Musician,   but eventually found   I wasn't noteworthy.

8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn't have any patience.

9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
Tried hard but just didn't fit in. 

10. I became a Professional Fisherman,
but I couldn't live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance   Company,   but the work was just too draining. 

12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,
but they said I   wasn't fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work ,
I finally got   a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,
but had to quit because   it was the same old grind.   

15 . SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT
 

AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE   JOB - LOVE IT!!!!!
 
 

 
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: STeveo on January 05, 2016, 06:37:15 AM
 :thumbsup
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Nigel on January 05, 2016, 06:41:34 AM
Many years ago I was a pilot in a bakery, I used to take the dough from one corner and pile it in the other........

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Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 05, 2016, 12:02:57 PM
I had a job as pilot in a milking shed

...  I had to pile it here, pile it there...


My choice that I left the bakery...  but the dough was lousy...


.. I got the chop from the Butchers...
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Nigel on January 05, 2016, 12:36:44 PM
Also had a job in a abattoir, but it became to cut throat so I went out on the lamb :eek............................. :wht11
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 05, 2016, 01:10:48 PM
Couldn’t hack the job as a computer systems security technician...
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Nigel on January 05, 2016, 04:41:50 PM
Not to mention the job in mirror sales, had a lot of break throughs`, but i couldn`t see myself staying there too long. It was a bit of a payne.. o:)
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 05, 2016, 04:48:54 PM
 :rofl
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: gaz on January 06, 2016, 08:24:26 PM
 :hatwave
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 08, 2016, 05:46:20 AM
I was going to write a book, but I went past Bookworld, and they were selling two for a dollar...
I thought "Nah! ... never make any money at that rate!"

Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 08, 2016, 05:50:11 AM
I applied for a job at the iceworks, but when the Interviewer started asking me questions, ... I froze!
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 08, 2016, 05:52:53 AM
I started my new job at Bunnings... only lasted 10 minutes.

They told me to comply with the customers wishes....

My first customer walked up to me, and said "I want decking!"

...so I did!
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Nigel on January 08, 2016, 06:02:09 AM
Had an interview at a Battery Company many years ago , all went well untill they shocked me with their negative attitude. It was all ok though as I took it as a positive experience and was able to take charge of the situation.

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Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: STroppy on January 08, 2016, 06:18:06 AM
Had an interview at a Battery Company many years ago , all went well untill they shocked me with their negative attitude. It was all ok though as I took it as a positive experience and was able to take charge of the situation.

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A good thing they didn't leave you feeling flat!
Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Nigel on January 08, 2016, 06:27:56 AM
Glad I didn't get the job as I found out later that a few of the workers were ill, if fact some were even Terminal.

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Title: Re: Jobs
Post by: Kev Murphy on January 08, 2016, 08:54:54 PM
I once had the job as a Judge in a Pun competition.

There were 10 finalists, each quoting their best pun.

I had to choose which one would get the most laughs.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.