OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Jokes, and Only Jokes => Topic started by: JuST Peter on December 07, 2016, 03:17:19 PM

Title: Mushrooms
Post by: JuST Peter on December 07, 2016, 03:17:19 PM
She wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak,
 
But she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.
 
Her husband suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms
 
that are growing wild down by the stream?
 
"No, some wild mushrooms are poisonous."
 
"Well, I see squirrels eating them and they're OK."
 
So she picked a bunch and washed, sliced and sauté`d them for her dinner.
 
Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot, their dog, a double handful.
 
Spot ate every bite.
 
All morning long, she watched the dog.
 
The wild mushrooms hadn't affected him after a few hours, so she decided to use them.
 
The meal was a great success.
 
After everyone had finished, her daughter came in and whispered in her ear,
 
"Mum, Spot is dead."
 
Trying to keep her head about her, she left the room as quickly as possible,

Called the doctor and told him what had happened.
 
The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it.
 
I'll call for an ambulance and I'll be there as quickly as I can.
 
We'll give everyone enemas and we'll pump out their stomachs
 
and everything will be fine.
 
Just keep them calm."
 
Before long they started to hear the sirens as the ambulance tore down the road.
 
The  Paramedics and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.
 
One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema,

and pumped out their stomach.
 
Well after midnight, after the last one was done the doctor came out and said,
 
"Everything will be okay now," and with that he left.
 
The hosts and the guests were all weak and knackered sitting around the

Living room when the daughter came in and said to her mum.....

"I can't believe that guy!"
 
"What guy?"
 
"You know, that bastard who ran over Spot;
 
He never even slowed down."
Title: Re: Mushrooms
Post by: Wild Rose on December 07, 2016, 04:49:45 PM
Love it  :thumb
I haven't heard it for a while  :grin But always good a laugh  :like
Title: Re: Mushrooms
Post by: Kev Murphy on December 08, 2016, 03:07:21 AM
Fungii identification.

A toadstool is very cramped ... doesn't have mushroom inside.....