OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: Z900owner on December 18, 2012, 12:04:16 PM

Title: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Z900owner on December 18, 2012, 12:04:16 PM

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)


What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
 
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.  :beer


What do you call a smart  blonde?
A golden retriever.


What do lawyers use for birth control? 
Their personalities..


What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife? 
20 kgs. 


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband? 
45 minutes.


What's the fastest way to a man's heart? 
Through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.  :think1


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? 
Because those men already have boyfriends. 


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you. 


What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. 


A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in Grade 9.  Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18..... 


What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? 
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside. 


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'


Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? 
Breasts don't have eyes. o:)


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? 
A speech impediment.


What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.


How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F..... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*! 


What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time..' 
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiiit'. 

 
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Brock on December 18, 2012, 02:18:21 PM
 :|||| :|||| :|||| :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Whizz on December 18, 2012, 02:35:38 PM
Love em all...and I'm not offended by any of them!

:crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :nahnah :nahnah
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Aj1300 on December 18, 2012, 06:06:50 PM
Loved them. Bring on more laughs :rofl :crackup :blk13
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: keith3po on December 18, 2012, 06:57:15 PM
Brilliant where do you guys get them from oh never mind just keep them coming. :crackup :crackup :-++ :-++
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: WendyL on December 18, 2012, 08:09:21 PM
Thank you, just what I needed after a sh*t of a week!!! :beer :rofl
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: JuST Peter on December 18, 2012, 08:13:36 PM
Thank you, just what I needed after a sh*t of a week!!! :beer :rofl
do you have 'em up there too  :crackup :crackup :crackup
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: WendyL on December 18, 2012, 08:15:34 PM
Thank you, just what I needed after a sh*t of a week!!! :beer :rofl
do you have 'em up there too  :crackup :crackup :crackup

Hell yeah!  One of the reasons I come on this forum, to get some laughs when I need them  :thumbs
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Abe on December 18, 2012, 08:30:21 PM
Wendy I'm glad I'm bunking with you in Middleton (and Lethal of course)
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: WendyL on December 18, 2012, 08:39:33 PM
Wendy I'm glad I'm bunking with you in Middleton (and Lethal of course)

Dare I ask why??? :think1 :think1
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Abe on December 18, 2012, 08:48:33 PM
Evil people never sleeeeep, so I'll feel protected.

P.S. Wendy are you top bunk or bottom bunk (lets start the tongues wagging)

Cheers
Dave
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: WendyL on December 18, 2012, 09:15:05 PM
Evil people never sleeeeep, so I'll feel protected.

P.S. Wendy are you top bunk or bottom bunk (lets start the tongues wagging)

Cheers
Dave

I've always preferred being on top...
Title: Re: SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE :-)
Post by: Aj1300 on December 19, 2012, 06:23:06 PM
Deisel, you better get that camera off from around your neck and put up some photos in Wendy and Abe unit. Sounds like the unit will be swing :runyay :runyay :crazy >:() :beer :beer