OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: JuST Peter on January 08, 2013, 07:00:41 PM

Title: Turps
Post by: JuST Peter on January 08, 2013, 07:00:41 PM: A small boy was sitting on a doorstep with a bottle of turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles.

A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'I think this is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called turpentine.'

The Priest said, 'No, my lad, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. You know, if you rub holy water on a pregnant woman's tummy, she'll pass a healthy baby.'

The little boy replied, 'Izzat so father? You know, if you rub turpentine on a cat's arse, it'll pass a Harley Davidson
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: rjstorrie on January 08, 2013, 07:02:54 PM: :crackup :rofl
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: Whizz on January 08, 2013, 10:15:16 PM: The mental pictures rushing round inside my head right now are enough to make me have a sleepless night.

This is brilliant. :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup

:-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++ :-++
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: Tackleberry on January 09, 2013, 11:38:20 AM: Pete you could have at least picked a bike that had a little go, and not a Slowly Davidson. :rofl :rofl :rofl
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: STeveo on January 09, 2013, 03:15:25 PM: When I heard that one it was battery acid, and the cat passed a jaguar!

:bl11
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: alans1100 on January 09, 2013, 03:21:52 PM: Heather is not impressed. Told her I'd try it on her cat.....just haven't got any turps at the moment
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: STeveo on January 09, 2013, 03:39:38 PM: Acetone or acrylic thinners would work just as well Alan. :thumb

:bl11
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: Brock on January 09, 2013, 03:53:49 PM: A mix of Chillie and vinegar should be interesting :grin :grin :eek
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: Sabie on January 09, 2013, 11:01:54 PM: Trigger Bottle for $2.95 at Supercheap works a treat, just load it up with the offending liquid and your set...
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: alans1100 on January 09, 2013, 11:06:43 PM: Heather is not impressed with you guys either :well ..........and is keeping a close eye on her cat.......and me.......
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: Sabie on January 09, 2013, 11:12:16 PM: How do you make a Cat Whoof.......... Throw petrol on it and drop a match.......

How do you make a Dog Meow............Freeze it and put it through a band saw....

Lock your Wife and your dog in the boot of the car for an hour......when you go back who's happy to see you?

And the list goes on.........
Title: Re: Turps
Post by: JuST Peter on January 10, 2013, 02:13:51 PM: Quote from: Tackleberry on January 09, 2013, 11:38:20 AM
Pete you could have at least picked a bike that had a little go, and not a Slowly Davidson. :rofl :rofl :rofl
:grin :grin