OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: JuST Peter on February 16, 2013, 06:35:07 AM

Title: Church Ladies With Typewriters
Post by: JuST Peter on February 16, 2013, 06:35:07 AM
They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:   


The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
--------------------------
 
 
The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'The sermon tonight:'Searching for Jesus.'
--------------------------
 
 
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
--------------------------
 
 
Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
--------------------------
 
 
Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
--------------------------
 
 
For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
--------------------------
 
 
Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
--------------------------
 
 
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
--------------------------
 
 
A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow..
--------------------------
 
 
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
--------------------------
 
 
Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
--------------------------
 
 
The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.
 
Title: Re: Church Ladies With Typewriters
Post by: Shiney on February 17, 2013, 09:59:40 AM
 :crackup :crackup :crackup
Title: Re: Church Ladies With Typewriters
Post by: Brock on February 17, 2013, 10:31:33 AM
 :thumbs :thumbs :thumbs
Title: Re: Church Ladies With Typewriters
Post by: gaz on February 17, 2013, 01:32:12 PM
 :beer :beer :beer
Title: Re: Church Ladies With Typewriters
Post by: Gavo on February 17, 2013, 02:11:36 PM
Ahh bless em and thier little cotton sox.   :thumb