OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: Z900owner on February 25, 2013, 05:58:55 PM

Title: British humour !
Post by: Z900owner on February 25, 2013, 05:58:55 PM

Thought   from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker---Billy   Connolly.

"If women are so bloody  perfect at  multitasking, How come they can't  have a headache and sex  at the same   time?"
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Children   Are Quick

TEACHER: Why are you  late?
STUDENT: Class  started before I got   here.
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TEACHER:   John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the   floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using   tables.
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TEACHER:   Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN:   K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's  wrong
GLENN:  Maybe it is wrong, but you asked  me how I spell it.
(I Love  this   child)
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TEACHER:   Donald, what is the chemical formula for  water?
DONALD: H I  J K L M N  O.
TEACHER: What are you talking   about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to   O.
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TEACHER:  Winnie,  name one important thing we have today that we  didn't
have  ten years ago.
WINNIE:   Me!
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TEACHER:   Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN:  Well, I'm a lot  closer to the ground than you   are.
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TEACHER:   Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I.  '
MILLIE: I  is..
TEACHER: No,  Millie..... Always say, 'I  am.'
MILLIE: All  right... 'I am the ninth letter of  the   alphabet.'
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TEACHER:   George Washington not only chopped down his father's   cherry
tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you  know  why his father didn't
punish him?
LOUIS:  Because George  still had the axe in his   hand.....
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TEACHER:   Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before   eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom  is a  good  cook.
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TEACHER:    Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same  as  your
brother's.. Did you copy his?
CLYDE :  No, sir. It's  the same dog.

(I want  to adopt this   kid!!!)
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TEACHER:   Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking   when
people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A   teacher

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: ST2UP on February 25, 2013, 06:33:06 PM

 :crackup

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: Whizz on February 25, 2013, 09:20:44 PM

I love the last one!!!


 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: Poppy Dave on February 25, 2013, 10:54:44 PM

You've got to love kids haven't you...........life is so black and white to them.


Poppy                                                        :wht13

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: Gavo on February 25, 2013, 11:33:34 PM

Very worthy  :thumbs :thumbs :rofl :rofl :-++ :-++

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: Shiney on February 26, 2013, 10:49:43 PM

 :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl

Title: Re: British humour !
Post by: royst1100 on February 27, 2013, 06:10:40 AM

got to love them :thumbs