OzSTOC
No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: hobs on March 22, 2013, 07:53:00 PM
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A captain of his ship was sailing the seas one afternoon, when suddenly over the horizon a pirate ship was seen. The captain yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and hand me my red jacket." To which one of the crew members complied and handed him his jacket which he put on. The battle ended victoriously for the ship and his captain and they continued on in their voyage. Later, they again spotted pirates, this time two ships were a approaching. "Men, we must go to battle again! Someone get me my red jacket!" And a crew member brought the jacket and the captain put it on. After a fierce war, and a truly stunning effort of the ships crew, the pirates were defeated. Noticing a trend, one of the ships crew members approaches the captain, "Why is it every time we go to war with another ship, you request to wear your red jacket?" To which the captain replies, "Well, if for some reason I should be injured and bleed, the red jacket will not show my wounds and thus the crew will not be alarmed and worried of my condition." The crew member agrees that this is a good strategy and continues with his work. Later that day over the horizon, a massive fleet of pirate ships, 10 in all, come over the horizon. The nervous crew looks up at the captain and he yells "Everyone prepare for battle, and hand me my brown pants!"
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:clap :clap :beer :clap :clap
excellent !
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Dave Allen did that skit many years ago. From memory, he asked for the brown cordory trousers, and it was something like 50 French frigates on the horizon. A great play on every word used..even my parents laughed!
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Dave Allen was the best we all waited for the week to go around and Dave was back :runyay
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Oh, I remember watching Dave Allen, the little Irishman with the foreshortened left fore-finger and the permanent glass of what he allowed everyone to think was scotch in his hand, (it was in fact ginger ale and ice). He would sit on his high stool, cigarette in one hand and drink in the other and reduce the audience to hysterics. He told the most risque jokes that had ever (at the time) been heard on the BBC...and got away with it simply because he was so good!
Died aged 68 in 2005.
A funny man if ever I saw one, and, as someone who professed to not know whether God existed or not, he always finished off his show with the words; "Thank you, goodnight and may your God go with you"
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David Tynan O'Mahony (6 July 1936 – 10 March 2005), better known as Dave Allen.
He had a joke about his finger or lack of one and how much to fill the glass.
Anyone remember.
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Yeas he bit it off himself
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In the words of the late great Donald " Duck " Dunn - If the shit fit's , wear it ! 8)
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I didn't know he'd died!!
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Died 13 May 2012 in his sleep in Tokyo.
Blues Brothers my fav movie - source of endless quotable quotes !