OzSTOC
No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: JuST Peter on April 22, 2013, 07:50:46 PM
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PASTOR: "Praise the Lord!"
CONGREGATION: "Hallelujah!"
PASTOR: "Can we please turn on our tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Cor 13:13.
And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon."
P-a-u-s-e......
"Now, Let us pray committing this week into God's hands.
Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God"
S-i-l-e-n-c-e
"As we take our Sunday tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready."
"You can log on to the church wi-fi using the password 'Lord909887. ' "
The ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the worshipers:
Those who prefer to make electronic fund transfers are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church.
Those who prefer to use iPads can open them.
Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.
The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!
Final Blessing and Closing Announcements...
This week's ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don't miss out.
Thursday's Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don't miss out.
You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.
God bless you and have nice day.
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Like this.......wonder if my sis will be as amused.
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You think it'll test her sense of humour? :grin
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It doesn't faze me. Unfortunately in some ways, a lot of that has already happened.
More than half our congregation make their weekly offering via direct debit or automatic credit card payment. It looks very bad when the plate is passed around and a lot of people just pass it on.
The Minister posts a weekly email with Church news and missed sermons are online on MP3s.
I'm one of those with the Bible on my phone, and we're a majority as far as I can see.
I'm sure there are some Churches using the other communication ideas.
Technology has changed before. Remember papyrus? It's the basic tenets that will never be lost.
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Thank Christ, religion is only one's belief.
I now there is no heaven, but I pray there is no hell.
(been close once, to heaven or hell the Doc's said)
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You think it'll test her sense of humour? :grin
I reposted to just friends on facebook.
My sis has recently done the "Born again" thing........I don't mind that but it's the ongoing spam I get in my news feed from her and her friends etc.
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Reminds me of a little story where a teacher was reprimanding a student for pondering about the story of Jonah and the whale and what it would be like to be in the belly of a whale. The teacher said "Well we'll never know". The student replied, "I'll ask him when I get to Heaven. The teacher growing more impatient by the moment said "And what if he's not IN heaven" to which the student replied "Then YOU ask him".