OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: Biggles on January 26, 2014, 07:53:05 PM

Title: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: Biggles on January 26, 2014, 07:53:05 PM
A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife, looking at herself in the mirror.
Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday.  "I'd like to be twelve again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Dreamworld theme park.
What a day!
He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Corkscrew, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
He then took her to a Mc Donald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to the cinema with popcorn, a huge Cola, and her favourite sweets.... M&M's.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well dear, what was it like being twelve again?"
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.  "I meant my dress size, you retard!"

Moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: Brock on January 26, 2014, 08:04:33 PM
And then the fighting began :crazy
Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: Pocket STocker on January 26, 2014, 08:05:16 PM
(http://i1355.photobucket.com/albums/q717/ST2UP/89ce8a7351181442db1d672d43c24b43_zpsb3e39921.jpg)


Sorry couldn't help myself  :whistle  :nahnah
Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: JuST Peter on January 26, 2014, 11:08:08 PM
…..and God said to Adam….


God Said, "Adam, I 
Want you to do 
Something for 
Me."



Adam 
Said, "Gladly, 
Lord, what do You 
Want me to do?"



God 
Said, "Go down 
Into that 
Valley."



Adam said, "What's 
A valley?"



God explained it to him. 

Then God said, 
"Cross the 
River."

Adam said, "What's a 
River?"



God explained that 
To him, and then said, 
"Go over to the 
Hill....."

 

Adam said, 
 
"What is a 
Hill?"




So, God explained to 
Adam what a hill was. 
He told Adam, "On 
The 
Other side of the 
Hill you will find a 
Cave." 




Adam said, 'What's a 
Cave?'



After God explained, 
He 
Said, "In the cave 
You will find a woman."




Adam said, "What's a 
Woman?'

 

So God explained 
That to him, too. 
Then, God said, 'I 
Want you 
To 
Reproduce."



Adam said, "How do 
I do 
That?"



God first said (under 
His breath), "Geez....."

 

And then, 
Just like everything else, God explained that to 
Adam, as 
Well.
 


So, Adam goes down 
Into 
The valley,



Across the river,

and 
Over the hill,


Into the 
Cave,

and finds the 
Woman.



Then, in 
About five minutes, he was back.




God, 
His patience 
Wearing thin, said
 Angrily, "What is 
It 
Now?"

 

And Adam said....




*
 


* 




*








*

 


*



*



*



"What's a 
Headache?"

 

 


[/size]
Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: tj189 on January 27, 2014, 07:26:24 AM
good one Biggles  :clap

Jean's response was very good  :crackup
Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: Biggles on January 27, 2014, 06:20:51 PM
Jean's response was very good  :crackup

I'm still coming to terms with it!   :crazy
Title: Re: Ya can't win, fellers
Post by: Pocket STocker on January 27, 2014, 07:05:58 PM
Jean's response was very good  :crackup

I'm still coming to terms with it!   :crazy


 :nahnah  :Blow