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No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: winston66 on February 09, 2015, 03:50:21 PM

Title: If this one fits
Post by: winston66 on February 09, 2015, 03:50:21 PM

 :hatwave   WOW:

A BRA and a set of jumper leads walks into a bar.
The BRA says, "Two whiskeys, thanks mate".
The barman says ,"Sorry mate,you have had enough."
" What do you mean mate ?, says the BRA.
The barman replies, "Well you're off your tits, and your mate is trying to start something!".

Cheers, Winston66

 :OldMan   :think1

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: winston66 on February 09, 2015, 04:09:04 PM

 :hatwave :OldMan


A guy had to take a crap really badly, so he goes into a bar.
He thinks that the bathroom is upstairs, so he goes upstairs, but he can;t find the bathroom anywhere, but then he finds a hole in the floor.
So he takes a crap in it.
When he goes downstairs there is no one in the bar, so he asks the barman where everyone is, and the barman says.
Where were you when the shixx hit the fan.

Cheers, winston66

 :wht11     :rd13

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Wild Rose on February 09, 2015, 05:20:34 PM

 :clap :clap :clap :clap ++

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: JuST Peter on February 09, 2015, 07:23:33 PM

 :crackup :crackup :crackup :crackup ++ :clap :clap

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: johnnyYTED on February 09, 2015, 08:03:07 PM

 :dred11
 :crackup :crackup :crackup :rofl :beer :thumb :popcorn

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Shiney on February 09, 2015, 09:18:29 PM

Lol :clap :clap :clap

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Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Biggles on February 09, 2015, 11:33:21 PM

A man walks into a bar with a toad on his head. The bartender says "where did you get that?" The toad replied "it started out as a wart on my stomach".

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Kev Murphy on February 10, 2015, 09:06:08 PM

 :rofl :rofl

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: ST.George on February 11, 2015, 06:05:20 AM

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his head.
Jeez he's a beauty - where'd you get him from?
The parrot said "He was lying out front in the gutter!".


A dyslexic guy walked into a bra ... He was D-Cup-itated!  :o

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Kev Murphy on February 11, 2015, 06:15:46 AM

I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks.
The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?”
I said, “Surprise me.”

He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Kev Murphy on February 11, 2015, 06:21:54 AM

Man asked the barman, ‘Do you serve women in this place?’
Barman, ‘Sh!t No.....  bring your own!’

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Biggles on February 11, 2015, 09:46:05 AM

A man goes to a bar says, "Barman!  Drinks are on me to you, the owner and everybody else in here!" Comes the end of the night the man says, "Sorry man it seems i forgot my wallet." The barman kicks him in the guts and throws him out. The next day the man comes again, "Barman drinks on me to you, the owner and everybody else in here!" Comes the end of the night the man says, "Sorry man I don't have any money on me."  The barman hits him in the face with bar stool breaks his leg and throws him out. The following day the man comes to the bar again, "Barman!  Drinks are on me to the owner and everybody else in here!" The barman says, "What? Am not getting a free drink tonight?"
"Sorry man but you get violent when you drink."

Title: Re: If this one fits
Post by: Pezzz on March 11, 2015, 12:48:08 AM

Lol Biggles

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