OzSTOC

No Parking Zone! => Off Topic, Off Colour, and non-motorcycle related => Topic started by: JuST Peter on August 27, 2015, 10:26:18 AM

Title: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: JuST Peter on August 27, 2015, 10:26:18 AM

We  were dressed and ready to go out for a dinner and theatre evening.  We turned on a 'night light', turned the  answering machine on, covered our pet parrot and put the cat  in the backyard.  We phoned the local taxi company and ordered a cab.
 The  taxi arrived, and we opened the front door to leave the  house.  As we walked out the door, the cat we had put out in the yard scooted back into the house.  We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to get at the parrot.  My wife walked on out to the taxi, while I went back inside to get the cat.
 The cat ran upstairs, with me in hot pursuit.  Waiting in the cab, my wife didn't want the driver to know that the house would be empty for the night, so she explained to the taxi driver that I would be out  soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother".
 A  few minutes later, I got into the cab.  "Sorry I took so  long", I said, as we drove away.   "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her arse with a coat hanger to get her to come out.  She tried to take off, so I grabbed  her by the neck.  Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket  to keep her from scratching me.  But it worked, so I  dragged her downstairs and threw her out into the  backyard.  She'd better not shit in the vegetable  garden again"!
 The  silence in the taxi was  deafening.

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: spanner on August 27, 2015, 10:33:14 AM

Oh god! I snort laughed coffee everywhere!

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: Wild Rose on August 27, 2015, 11:40:43 AM

 :grin :clap :clap :crackup :crackup :crackup :rofl :rofl :rofl ++

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: DavidP on August 27, 2015, 12:46:00 PM

 :rofl :rofl :rofl

not to pickup the remains of my lunch from the table   :clap

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: Kev Murphy on August 27, 2015, 12:54:55 PM

 :crackup

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: kimmie on August 27, 2015, 04:53:24 PM

 :-((( :-(((     :rofl :rofl :rofl

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: atoyot on August 28, 2015, 04:05:02 PM

I think, that for safety's sake, jokes like this should come with a warning; Caution - reading this with a hot coffee in hand is NOT recommended. :whistle

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: JuST Peter on August 28, 2015, 04:13:02 PM

Did you burn yourself Andrew? :grin :grin

Title: Re: Why we shouldn't lie
Post by: atoyot on August 28, 2015, 10:11:20 PM

No, but my office chair almost snapped it base from me shaking with laughter. Then I saw spanner's reaction, and I was glad I finished my coffee. My Father in Law had the same reaction, but I warned him before he read it. :rofl