Golf buddies

[Copernicus d ferret]

 
Two blokes out playing golf come up behind a slow pair of ladies,
" go down and ask them if we can play past them" one says.
He walks half way down, turns and comes back.
" I can't face those two together, that's my wife and my mistress."
" You better go tell them "

The other chap accepts and strolls off. Getting near the women he turns back.
Reaching his playing partner he simply said " Tis a small world ain't it."

[Kev Murphy]

 

[marty]

father McDougall agreed to play golf with an Englishman.  On the first hole the father hit a beautiful drive down the fairway and stepped aside for the Englishman to play his stroke. The Englishman took a massive swing and missed the ball completely and cried OH shit I missed. Father McDougall exclaimed, my son dont blaspheme or god will strike you down. On the next hole father McDougall hit another perfect drive and again the Englishman missed and cursed aloud. Again father McDougall said my son do no blaspheme or god will strike you down.  On the next hole the father again hit a perfect drive and gain the Englishman muffed his shot an completely missed the ball exclaiming and cursing loudly Oh shit I missed . Soddenly there was a bolt of lightning out of the blue, and there laid father McDougall dead on the golf course. Witnesses to this day proclaim they heard a voice from the heavens cry "Oh shit I missed."

[Copernicus d ferret]

 

[Copernicus d ferret]

My uncle Pat came over to visit from Ireland last week, we were looking for things to fill his time when he admitted he had never played golf.
Thought It would be fun to see him try so off we went.
I started him on a nice easy par 3.
Standing on the tee he asked what he had to do, I said " take this club and hit that ball as close to the flag down there as you can."
Dam me if we didn't get down to the green to find his ball only a foot short and on good line, he asked " what now?"
" well the aim of the game is to get the ball in the hole in as least shots as you can."

The look he gave me could have killed a dead horse.
Followed by " why the hell didn't Ye tell me that when we was up there on the tee?"

[Copernicus d ferret]

I went to see my grandfather in his home for lunch the other day.
I couldn't believe how worn out and down he looked.
I asked him what was wrong, when he replied that he had pulled a muscle in the shower earlier this morning.
I asked him, shouldn't you be feeling a bit better by now.

He replied, depends how many times you pull it.