Author Topic: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette  (Read 276 times)

Online Wild Rose

  • Supreme "2000" Club Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 4437
  • Thanked: 958 times
  • Toowoomba, Qld
The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« on: January 02, 2019, 10:56:08 PM »
In General:
1.       Never take an open stubby to a job interview...
2.       Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3.       It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4.       If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5.       Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
Eating Out:
1.       When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2.       If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
Entertaining at Home:
1.       A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..
2.       Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
Personal Hygiene:
1.       While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2.       Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3.       Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4.       Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from  your  jewellery.
Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:
1.       Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2.       Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen.  Tests have proven they can't hear you.
1.       Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2.       For the groom, at least, rent a tux.  A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
3.       Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
Driving Etiquette:
1.       Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2.       When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3.       Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4.       When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
Leo (Wild Rose)
Honda ST 1300

:rd13       :blk13
 2002                            New 29-04-13

Ulysses #49154
FarRider #243
The following users thanked this post: Biggles, sirchilly, Kev Murphy, Jdbiker

Online Shillas

  • Legendary Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 924
  • Thanked: 362 times
  • Christmas is a santamental time of year
Re: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2019, 08:05:08 AM »
Shillas :dred11  :13Candy

So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world. And if it was, you'd find reds are by far undoubtedly & unquestionably the best.

CB 125
RD 200
CB 250T
XJ 650
XV 750
VL 800
ST 1100 - In the garage
ST 1300 - In the garage

Offline Biggles

  • NatRally 2018 - Mackay
  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *
  • Posts: 12546
  • Thanked: 1493 times
  • Bridgeman Downs, Brisbane
Re: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2019, 11:23:53 AM »
Well that cleared up a few misconceptions I had.  Thanks for the obviously much needed improving information!
Grabbed for future reference.
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

OzSTOC #16  STOC #6135  FarR #509  IBA #54927

Offline DavidP

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 211
  • Thanked: 135 times
  • ST13 fan, near Toowoomba, Qld
Re: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2019, 07:44:32 PM »
Darn, I was in the shot first in the paddock, and furry the body later camp :-)

Good chuckle

Sent from my SM-T710 using Tapatalk

:slvr13 in style
2008 ST1300, Carbon fender extender, blinker/mirror mod, switchback indicators, diy wiring/jump start harness, heated grips, diy swing-arm/shock protector, insulated fairing pockets, diy led spots

Online Bodų

  • Where's my keys?
  • Supreme "2000" Club Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2765
  • Thanked: 1211 times
  • No one ever said I was normal
Re: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« Reply #4 on: January 03, 2019, 08:07:12 PM »
My ute is otherwise busy since it was a barmy 42°C in Adelaide today.


Offline Brock

  • Tardis Tech
  • Global Moderator
  • UNBELIEVABLE "5000 Posts" Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 7443
  • Thanked: 856 times
  • White is Best
Re: The Little Book of Australian Etiquette
« Reply #5 on: January 03, 2019, 09:31:22 PM »
Cool, you can wrap up the pool and take it with you..
Asian Correspondent
2003 Honda ST1100PY

Ulysses #32829
STOC #8239
OzSToc # ??
Kinross WA