Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863289 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1500 on:** September 13, 2016, 02:46:40 PM »

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1501 on:** September 13, 2016, 04:40:36 PM »

Recently, a friend annoyed me with his verbal opinion over the phone.

So I flipped a loop into a short piece of rope, and mailed it to him.

A few days later, he rang again... "So... we are pretty tight, huh?"

"No" I replied ... " It's just my way of telling you to 'Get knotted!' "

Draco (Heartbreak Kid) · « **Reply #1502 on:** September 13, 2016, 05:11:18 PM »

Getting close

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Shiney · « **Reply #1503 on:** September 13, 2016, 05:15:22 PM »

Quote from: Draco (Heartbreak Kid) on September 13, 2016, 05:11:18 PM

Getting close

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Nice, only 1000 km to go

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1504 on:** September 13, 2016, 06:46:54 PM »

Going well, Rob..

I have a long way to go to catch up.

Draco (Heartbreak Kid) · « **Reply #1505 on:** September 13, 2016, 06:47:58 PM »

Get on a RIDE IT 😆

via DRACO 😎

Damien ball · « **Reply #1506 on:** September 13, 2016, 08:07:51 PM »

Tried to get all the two's but missed it by 5km. Still running sweet.

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Brock · « **Reply #1507 on:** September 13, 2016, 08:14:46 PM »

Ummm

Thats a miss by 520Ks, not 5...

Just saying..

Damien ball · « **Reply #1508 on:** September 13, 2016, 08:18:12 PM »

It was a little while ago i left for work and forgot to stop for the photo .

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STroppy · « **Reply #1509 on:** September 13, 2016, 09:05:39 PM »

Priest & Pilot

A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.

Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, 'Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?'

The guy replies, ' I'm Bruce, retired airline pilot from Toronto.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, 'Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom.'

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next, it's the priest's turn.

He stands erect and booms out, 'I am Father John, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years.'

Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, 'Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom.

'Just a minute,' says the good father. 'That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?

'Up here - we go by results,' says Saint Peter. 'When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed.'

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1510 on:** September 14, 2016, 12:01:20 AM »

... and....... it's raining again...

only 9mm here in the past 4 hours, but 30mm at Hamilton, 90 Km up the highway

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1511 on:** September 14, 2016, 12:23:04 AM »

1. The difference between the Pope and your boss is, ... the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

2. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling as well.

3. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash, and it's gone.

4. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1512 on:** September 14, 2016, 08:34:31 AM »

*SIGH* another day indoors... still 'urinating precipitation'.
That cloud band is just rotating around, centred on Casterton, not moving away.

(but check out that reading in the Grampians just south of Halls Gap!!!)

NTRebel · « **Reply #1513 on:** September 14, 2016, 08:41:49 AM »

hey Kev if you're not getting enough rain I can share 100mm with you. we're expecting that much right up till next monday at least.

paul

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1514 on:** September 14, 2016, 08:57:32 AM »

NOoooo thankyouverymuch! Paul.... But what you are getting at present has to last you for the next ten years?

Actually, many years ago, I met a five-year-old in the Alice who came running indoors terrified, because of a passing shower.
He had never seen rain before!

NTRebel · « **Reply #1515 on:** September 14, 2016, 09:10:22 AM »

yeah but if I send 50mm to you we'll still end up being over our yearly average by christmas.

paul

StinkyPete · « **Reply #1516 on:** September 14, 2016, 09:13:56 AM »

We are already over our yearly average and 20-40mm is forecast in the Adelaide Hills for today.

NTRebel · « **Reply #1517 on:** September 14, 2016, 09:16:44 AM »

so you are the one sending it up here are you Pete.

Quote from: StinkyPete on September 14, 2016, 09:13:56 AM

We are already over our yearly average and 20-40mm is forecast in the Adelaide Hills for today.

paul

WendyL · « **Reply #1518 on:** September 14, 2016, 02:27:57 PM »

Why is everyone discussing such little numbers in relation to rainfall? A decent rain is 150mm+ in half an hour up here, average annual rainfall close to 2000mm (2 metres).

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1519 on:** September 14, 2016, 03:00:14 PM »

Wendy, here we are topical, not tropical! 20mm per day every two days for the past 3 and a half months and it mounts up
for us down here, where we usually only get 580mm per year. This year so far, we have already had 644mm.
It has rained here on average every second day since late May and it's still coming down for the next 6 weeks!
Add the low temps that we get with it, and its easy to see why we have the irrots!

10 pm edit and add..
Darwin, now 28 degrees, dropping to 25 overnight, tomorrow... 33 degrees.
Portland, now 8.5, dropping to 6 overnight...tomorrow, max of 13 degrees (maybe?)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1520 on:** September 15, 2016, 09:33:14 AM »

Update ... Darwin, 9.30 am 29.1 degrees

Portland, 9.30 am 11.3 degrees ... but with windchill factor, feels like 8 degrees.

No wonder I feel depressed, that's cold enough to freeze the nuts right off your axle!

NTRebel · « **Reply #1521 on:** September 15, 2016, 09:43:19 AM »

Hey Kev 9.12am here and 11.7 with a maximum of 20 plus rain which I'll send down to you.

Quote from: Kev Murphy on September 15, 2016, 09:33:14 AM

Update ... Darwin, 9.30 am 29.1 degrees

Portland, 9.30 am 11.3 degrees ... but with windchill factor, feels like 8 degrees.

No wonder I feel depressed, that's cold enough to freeze the nuts right off your axle!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1522 on:** September 15, 2016, 11:32:35 AM »

.... Doesn't take much to realise that there is 'a nigger in the woodpile', when you can buy a bottle of carbonated, flavoured fizzy drink from the supermarket at a lower price than a plain bottle of ordinary 'natural' water..

NTRebel · « **Reply #1523 on:** September 15, 2016, 01:00:32 PM »

If you catch the rain then water becomes cheaper than fizzy drinks from the supermarket

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #1524 on:** September 15, 2016, 01:27:42 PM »

My rainwater tank is overflowing.. its raining faster than I can drink it

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Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863289 times)