Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863891 times)

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7301 on:** April 28, 2018, 02:07:40 PM »

Warning to cannibals.

NEVER eat an Australian.

We are full of VEGEMITE!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7302 on:** April 28, 2018, 02:28:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7303 on:** April 28, 2018, 02:33:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7304 on:** April 28, 2018, 02:41:43 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7305 on:** April 28, 2018, 02:58:44 PM »

STeveo · « **Reply #7306 on:** April 28, 2018, 04:28:57 PM »

I'd believe that true.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7307 on:** April 28, 2018, 05:14:43 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7308 on:** April 28, 2018, 05:17:14 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7309 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:13:48 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7310 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:22:01 PM »

An Italian friend of mine has a severe speech impediment.

... one arm is shorter than the other ....

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7311 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:26:11 PM »

Luigi and Paulo were out fishing in the Mediterranean sea one day when a World War II mine came floating along.

On seeing it coming nearer and nearer, Luigi shouted at his friend "Hey Paulo, it's a mine!!!, it's a mine!!!"

Paulo replied " Okay Luigi, you can-a have it!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7312 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:27:43 PM »

The Mafia don't like Jehovah's Witnesses.

They don't like any witnesses.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7313 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:30:21 PM »

A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from London to Melbourne and when drink orders were taken, the Aussie asked for a rum and Coke, which was placed before him.
The attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, ''I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.''
The Aussie handed back his drink and said: ''Me too. I didn't know we had a choice.''

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7314 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:39:10 PM »

I am terrified of elevators.

I now take steps to avoid them...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7315 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:40:38 PM »

I received an email that says processed meat can cause cancer, but I think its just spam...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7316 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:42:33 PM »

Someone has been stealing K-9 patrol dogs.

Police said they have several leads.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7317 on:** April 28, 2018, 06:45:05 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7318 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:32:01 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7319 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:34:32 PM »

Here I am, standing in front of the mirror admiring my six pack.

... I better put them back in the fridge before they lose their chill.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7320 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:38:34 PM »

Two rednecks go on a fishing trip.

They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods; they spend a fortune.

The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything.
The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day.
It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.

As they're driving home they're really depressed.
One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"

The other guy says, "Wow! ... good thing we didn't catch any more!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7321 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:41:00 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7322 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:42:58 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7323 on:** April 28, 2018, 09:45:58 PM »

I gave away my collection of dead batteries today, free of charge.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7324 on:** April 28, 2018, 10:06:58 PM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5863891 times)