Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5862721 times)

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7476 on:** May 13, 2018, 01:38:22 AM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on May 12, 2018, 06:45:59 AM

Jesus can walk on water.
Chuck Norris can swim through mountains!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7477 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:13:13 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7478 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:14:55 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7479 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:30:48 AM »

Trump was recently commended for explaining his policies in a manner that all other six year olds could understand.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7480 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:37:37 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7481 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:38:29 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7482 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:40:20 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7483 on:** May 13, 2018, 05:42:18 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7484 on:** May 13, 2018, 11:29:22 AM »

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.

It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte.

And then everything crashed...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7485 on:** May 13, 2018, 11:32:26 AM »

Happy Mother's Day! Yes, it's today. How fast can you glue macaroni into a bracelet?

Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young.

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as Donald Trump calls it, Dad's Third Wife Day.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7486 on:** May 13, 2018, 11:34:50 AM »

I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet?

I asked my 17 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7487 on:** May 14, 2018, 09:20:40 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7488 on:** May 14, 2018, 10:45:52 AM »

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. “Due to lack of activity,” he read, “we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account.”

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7489 on:** May 14, 2018, 10:47:29 AM »

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7490 on:** May 14, 2018, 10:50:59 AM »

A computer programmer enters an elevator, wanting to go to the 12th floor.

So, he pushes 1, then he pushes 2, and then starts looking for the Enter button….

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7491 on:** May 14, 2018, 10:55:01 AM »

"DearTechSupport ... Canyoufixythespacebaronmykeyboard?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7492 on:** May 14, 2018, 07:11:01 PM »

Leroy was sitting on the bank of the river fishing, when a hot air balloon drifted by.

A voice from overhead called "Hey!... Where am I?"

Leroy called back "You caint fool me! ... You're in that there basket!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7493 on:** May 15, 2018, 04:59:26 AM »

Maybe it's not global warming.

Maybe it's just planetary menopause?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7494 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:00:27 AM »

When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive...

It's a good thing my older brother told me about it.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7495 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:02:45 AM »

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her.

Or something like that...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7496 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:05:17 AM »

Diet Day #1 of 7

I removed all the fattening food from my house.

It was delicious.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7497 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:09:26 AM »

For Valentines Day I contemplated my current and past relationships.

I organized the data, and plotted it using an Ex-Axis and a Why-Axis.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7498 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:10:35 AM »

I was really shocked when I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7499 on:** May 15, 2018, 05:21:33 AM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5862721 times)

Bodø Glimt