Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5861059 times)

Gadget · « **Reply #7850 on:** June 20, 2018, 11:04:25 PM »

Pfft... cold is when you have to eat your sandwiches before they freeze.

Cold is when you have to put the groceries on the back seat and not in the boot, so they're not snap frozen on the way home.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7851 on:** June 21, 2018, 02:37:31 AM »

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7852 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:07:19 AM »

If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7853 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:29:30 AM »

Lost my job at the shoe store because I didn't fit.

« **Reply #7854 on:** June 21, 2018, 06:35:49 AM »

And I thought you'd be a shoo in.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7855 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:41:28 AM »

I discovered that Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7856 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:46:16 AM »

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7857 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:48:19 AM »

I just read some ribbeting facts about frogs.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7858 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:51:14 AM »

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7859 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:53:09 AM »

I just tucked my shirt in.

Don't know why it wanted to go to bed at this hour?

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7860 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:58:16 AM »

I guess it wasn't a nightshirt.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7861 on:** June 21, 2018, 07:59:29 AM »

R.I.P. morning fog.

You will be mist.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7862 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:01:28 AM »

It will return in dew time.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7863 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:03:32 AM »

Bodø, are you aware that whiteboards are remarkable?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7864 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:11:04 AM »

Locomotives always know where they are going because of intensive training.

Bodø Glimt · « **Reply #7865 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:11:43 AM »

Bodø, are you aware that whiteboards are remarkable?

It depends on the pen used.

« **Reply #7866 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:11:52 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7867 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:15:11 AM »

My wife is on a tropical fruit diet.

It's enough to make a mango crazy.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7868 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:22:27 AM »

It depends on the pen used.

It's pointless to use a broken pencil.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7869 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:26:45 AM »

Did you hear about the blind circumciser at the clinic?

He got the sack.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7870 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:32:53 AM »

If Hitler was alive right now, what would he be doing?

Frantically clawing at the lid of his coffin.

NTRebel · « **Reply #7871 on:** June 21, 2018, 08:52:05 AM »

Here's an oldie for you Kev. What's black and white and red all over.

A newspaper.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7872 on:** June 21, 2018, 12:21:52 PM »

... or a Nun hit by a bus?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7873 on:** June 21, 2018, 12:46:32 PM »

I saw a man lighting a cigarette from a candle in the church last Sunday.

Disgusting!

... Almost spilt my beer!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #7874 on:** June 21, 2018, 02:48:31 PM »

Labor voters suffer from Mal-contempt.

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