Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5860868 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7925 on: June 24, 2018, 11:18:56 PM »
Spotted a young woman shopping in Woolies Supermarket this evening.

If her skirt was any shorter, her nipples would be showing. :o
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7926 on: June 25, 2018, 03:19:43 AM »
I was listening to some music when my son asked "Can I watch TV?"

I replied "Sure you can! ... but don't turn it on!"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7927 on: June 25, 2018, 03:36:18 AM »
Americans, take heart.

If you are rejected at a job interview because of lack of experience, you could always run for the Presidency.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7928 on: June 25, 2018, 03:38:32 AM »
I saw a space man, right at the entrance to the supermarket.

So like, I parked there, man!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7929 on: June 25, 2018, 03:43:44 AM »


Wally always wears a striped shirt because he doesn't want to be spotted.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7930 on: June 25, 2018, 03:46:53 AM »
I watched a monkey run across a minefield.

I think it was a Baboooom!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7931 on: June 25, 2018, 06:23:56 AM »
Fragile.

1) Dictionary Definition.
adjective
(of an object) easily broken or damaged.
"fragile items such as glass and china"
synonyms:
breakable, easily broken, brittle, frangible, smashable, splintery, flimsy, weak, frail, insubstantial, delicate, dainty, fine; eggshell
"she was anxious about her fragile porcelain"
easily destroyed or threatened.
"you have a fragile grip on reality"
synonyms:   tenuous, easily broken, easily destroyed, easily threatened, vulnerable, perilous, flimsy, shaky, rocky, risky, unreliable, suspect, nebulous, unsound, insecure; More
(of a person) not strong or sturdy; delicate and vulnerable.
"a small, fragile old lady"
synonyms:
weak, delicate, frail, debilitated, tottery, shaky, trembly, ill, unwell, ailing, poorly, sickly, infirm, feeble, enfeebled, unsound;
"she is still very fragile after her ordeal"

2) AusPost.
Break gently.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7932 on: June 25, 2018, 06:29:45 AM »
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection.

The Judge said "First offender?"

She replied "No, first a Martin, then a Gibson, and then I finished him off with a Fender!"
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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7933 on: June 25, 2018, 06:58:46 PM »
Spotted a young woman shopping in Woolies Supermarket this evening.

If her skirt was any shorter, her nipples would be showing. :o
That wasn't a skirt, it was a belt.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7934 on: June 25, 2018, 07:03:20 PM »
 :rofl
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Online STeveo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7935 on: June 25, 2018, 07:09:08 PM »
 :crackup
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7936 on: June 25, 2018, 09:56:38 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7937 on: June 25, 2018, 10:48:47 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7938 on: June 26, 2018, 06:56:12 AM »
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7939 on: June 26, 2018, 09:48:24 AM »
What do you call a hen looking at a lettuce?

Chicken Caesar salad
 
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Offline Shillas

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7940 on: June 26, 2018, 10:08:14 AM »
 :fp
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7941 on: June 26, 2018, 12:50:44 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7942 on: June 26, 2018, 01:37:33 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7943 on: June 26, 2018, 01:40:26 PM »
Forget it.  She'll only light up for you once.
 
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Offline StinkyPete

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7944 on: June 26, 2018, 01:43:33 PM »
The Green Thing

Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.
The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."

The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."

The older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.

Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags. But, too bad we didn't do the "green thing" back then.
We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.

Back then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.

But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a r azor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.

But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.

But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?

Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.

We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to piss us off... Especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7945 on: June 26, 2018, 01:50:29 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7946 on: June 26, 2018, 01:51:59 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7947 on: June 26, 2018, 01:56:52 PM »
About the green thing? Anti 'store-packaging' ... Woolworths are seriously thinking about 'Bring your own Tupperware' to the store, to pack your fresh meat and fish purchases in ????
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7948 on: June 26, 2018, 02:12:33 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7949 on: June 26, 2018, 02:15:38 PM »
I watched a National Geographic documentary last night on the life of Beavers.

Best dam movie I've ever seen.
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