Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5864718 times)

NTRebel · « **Reply #10875 on:** February 06, 2019, 01:27:44 PM »

You must be getting my share of his messages Kev.

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 06, 2019, 12:57:22 PM

I am sick and tired of this DH Clive Palmer and his Unsavoury Anarchist Propaganda text messages!

This brings the number of texts received from him in the past 2 weeks to 5.

So help me, if this **** was within reach, I would strangle him!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10876 on:** February 06, 2019, 01:47:53 PM »

The next time someone says to me "As if!... yeah, when pigs can fly...!" I have the photographic proof!

https://youtu.be/-reuaQazPpo

Bodø · « **Reply #10877 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:04:39 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 06, 2019, 01:12:49 PM

Unsure of whats going on nearby here, but helicopter and police are charging around the area.

With all due respect you did threaten to kill a politician (well, a wannabe politician).

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10878 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:07:17 PM »

OK! heres the rundown on the Police activity.

Stolen car, a red Magna. Did a drive off from Terang, 150 Km away, without paying for fuel, did another drive off here locally.
Car dumped a few blocks away, witnesses saw a bloke run from the car carrying a machete. Car has been recovered, but driver escaped on foot.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10879 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:08:27 PM »

Quote from: Bodø on February 06, 2019, 03:04:39 PM

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 06, 2019, 01:12:49 PM
Unsure of whats going on nearby here, but helicopter and police are charging around the area.

With all due respect you did threaten to kill a politician (well, a wannabe politician).

No threat, a promise!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10880 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:12:17 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10881 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:14:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10882 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:22:17 PM »

So, she woke up, showered, and got dressed for the day.

"How do I look?" she asked.

I replied "With your eyes, stupid!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10883 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:25:05 PM »

Could be a prime reason for domestic violence?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10884 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:33:11 PM »

A very drunk guy checked into a hotel late one Saturday night.

He awoke feeling very seedy, and summoned a bellboy to fetch a bottle of whiskey and the Sunday newspaper.

The bellboy was gone for an hour.

When he returned, the hungover gent remarked:
"It must be hard to buy liquor in this town on a Sunday?"

"No trouble with the whiskey, but do you know how difficult it is to buy a Sunday paper on Tuesday?"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10885 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:38:52 PM »

I read a report that 60% of pet owners let their pets sleep on the bed with them.

I decided to try this, but my goldfish died.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10886 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:46:54 PM »

I was taking a walk lakeside this morning when I heard splashing and a cry for help.

I ran towards the sound, and there was Clive Palmer in difficulties in the lake.

I am not a fan of the Unwanted Assholes Party, but I guess it is my
humanitarian duty to assist in any way I can, so I contacted the emergency services.

It's now 5.45pm, and still no help has arrived.

I'm beginning to think that I wasted a stamp.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10887 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:50:19 PM »

« **Reply #10888 on:** February 06, 2019, 03:54:26 PM »

Quote from: Kev Murphy on February 06, 2019, 03:25:05 PM

Could be a prime reason for domestic violence?

My ex was the same:

Her: where should we go for dinner?
Me: I'm not fussed
Her: You decide
Me: I'll be fine wherever we go
Her: You decide. Why is it you never decide?
Me: Okay. That Korean place on <insert name> Street is pretty good.
Her: I want italian
Me: Fine, I'll book a table at La Fettuccina
Her: We went there last time. How about we go to...
Me: This is why I never decide.

Needless to say we are no longer together.

richo · « **Reply #10889 on:** February 06, 2019, 06:00:27 PM »

Stolen car, a red Magna. Did a drive off from Terang, 150 Km away, without paying for fuel, did another drive off here locally.
Car dumped a few blocks away, witnesses saw a bloke run from the car carrying a machete. Car has been recovered, but driver escaped on foot.
[/quote]

It is a Magna so he was probably quicker on foot than when he was driving

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10890 on:** February 06, 2019, 06:03:13 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10891 on:** February 06, 2019, 06:48:32 PM »

Update... Stolen car driver was caught a couple hours ago, and is currently enjoying the company of some newly aquired uniformed aquaintances, and a meal, and they have even provided him with a bed for tonight. He will undoubtably be shocked in the morning court as to what it will cost him.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10892 on:** February 06, 2019, 07:00:53 PM »

Deep thought...

When you clean your vacuum cleaner, you BECOME a vacuum cleaner.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10893 on:** February 06, 2019, 09:41:05 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10894 on:** February 06, 2019, 10:08:27 PM »

Scam caller

10.50pm, Unknown number.

Me "Hello?"

Him "I am be to call for you Australian Taxation Off ..."

Me "Hello?"

Him "I am be to calling for you ....

Me "Hello!"

Him "Can you be hearing me?"...

Me "Hello?"

... And then I hung up.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10895 on:** February 07, 2019, 01:41:39 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10896 on:** February 07, 2019, 02:03:38 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10897 on:** February 07, 2019, 02:07:38 AM »

Gam dow ray strack, fie my slong,

... doo dah, doo dah.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10898 on:** February 07, 2019, 02:27:14 AM »

Anyone know an Electrician? ... better call a Plumber, too!

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #10899 on:** February 07, 2019, 02:29:20 AM »

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 5864718 times)

Bodø