Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5823196 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14775 on: October 29, 2019, 12:38:51 AM »
An amateur band was recording a new album in the studio...
...and decided to record a cover of another less known artist, a judge who mostly played small private events like weddings.

The album became a huge hit, and sales went through the roof. However, the judge also happened to come across the album after its release.

The judge contacted their manager, came to the band and said "You had no permission whatsoever to use my copyrighted material in your album. I should sue you for this."
The manager of the band, knowing how they would lose the case in court, started begging the judge to drop the charges.

"Well, you're in luck. I'm also an author, and just published a new book. Now that you've made a name of yourselves, perhaps you could advertise my new book for me. If you manage to get the book some media attention so that the sales go up, I will see to it that you gain the rights to my song as long as you put my name into the song credits."

The manager, relieved by the judge's proposition, gladly accepted his suggestion.

This just goes to show, you should never cover a judge, buy his book.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14776 on: October 29, 2019, 12:45:27 AM »
Scomo says that women send him their knickers in the post.

Presumably with the message: ‘From one twat to another'
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14777 on: October 29, 2019, 01:50:01 AM »
My wife came rushing in out of the garden and said, "There's a pair of my knickers missing off the washing line."
I said, "I know, the two kids from next door have them."
She said, "Those dirty little perverts!"
I said, "It's nothing like that, they mentioned something about building a hammock."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14778 on: October 29, 2019, 01:53:13 AM »
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...

I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids in China at your age make !"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14779 on: October 29, 2019, 01:57:21 AM »
Tampax has announced they will replace the traditional tampon string with tinsel.

This will be for the Christmas period only.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14780 on: October 29, 2019, 07:34:42 AM »
I can't stand when people say to me, "you are always blaming someone else"

and my reply always...."and whose fault is that ? "
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14781 on: October 29, 2019, 11:02:05 AM »
 :rofl
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14782 on: October 29, 2019, 11:02:16 AM »
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14783 on: October 29, 2019, 11:13:37 AM »
Five cougars please.
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14784 on: October 29, 2019, 11:25:10 AM »
A scam artist who was offering 'time travel' fronted court today.

It came to light that he has a criminal past record for committing the same offence, dated 2004, 1989, 1927 and 1863.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14785 on: October 29, 2019, 11:26:32 AM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14786 on: October 29, 2019, 12:09:24 PM »
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14787 on: October 29, 2019, 12:27:47 PM »
Yeah right.  Most of th e phones would be in portrait orientation because that's what most bellends do.
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14788 on: October 29, 2019, 12:54:12 PM »
true ...  :thumb
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14789 on: October 29, 2019, 12:54:45 PM »
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14790 on: October 29, 2019, 02:48:27 PM »
2 days to Halloween

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14791 on: October 29, 2019, 06:50:28 PM »
"Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."

Mum: "Well, you have done the right thing."

Son: "But mum, I was sitting on dads lap at the time?"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14792 on: October 30, 2019, 09:56:11 AM »
When an accused Honda employee was found not guilty, it was the judge’s Civic duty to let him leave on his own Accord.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14793 on: October 30, 2019, 11:02:56 AM »
Legand !
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14794 on: October 30, 2019, 12:52:32 PM »
No matter what you guys say, I’m not unsubscribing from Justin Beiber,

... because that entails the stupidity of having to subscribe to him in the first place.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14795 on: October 30, 2019, 12:55:00 PM »
I did it for you when you left your phone on the table at Lorne.
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14796 on: October 30, 2019, 03:08:41 PM »
Jokes on you  :grin ... that wasn't my phone!  :rofl
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14797 on: October 30, 2019, 03:12:17 PM »
The difference between Charles Manson and a make-a-wish kid ... Manson got life.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14798 on: October 30, 2019, 03:14:09 PM »
We’ve all heard of Boyle’s Law and Charles’s Law, but have you ever heard of Cole’s Law?







It’s thinly sliced cabbage.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14799 on: October 30, 2019, 03:27:27 PM »
It's weird to me that the shortened version of Charles is "Chuck".

I mean, where the Farles did that come from?
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