Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 5865609 times)

Online Jdbiker

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15875 on: January 03, 2020, 09:41:06 PM »
Thanks Rusty :like
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« Reply #15876 on: January 04, 2020, 11:13:50 AM »
It's a cool, cloudy day in Portland this morning, just 16 degrees.
 
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« Reply #15877 on: January 04, 2020, 11:15:52 AM »
Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.
 
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« Reply #15878 on: January 04, 2020, 11:16:34 AM »
My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
 
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« Reply #15879 on: January 04, 2020, 02:59:43 PM »
DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...
 
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Online Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15880 on: January 04, 2020, 03:26:37 PM »
Keep them coming Bodo
You got a few thousand to catch up to Kev  :like
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« Reply #15881 on: January 04, 2020, 03:40:12 PM »
Keep them coming Bodo
You got a few thousand to catch up to Kev  :like

Actually it's hard work.  I don't know how Kev does it.
 
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Online Jdbiker

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Re: Holding the fort for Kev
« Reply #15882 on: January 04, 2020, 04:44:29 PM »
It's a cool, cloudy day in Portland this morning, just 16 degrees.


What you doing in Portland Bodo San?
Jdbiker.
2008 red ST1300A
1980 Yamaha XS 1100
1974. Yamaha TX 500 sold
1984   Kawasaki GT 750
1975  Honda GL1000

Honda XL 250 sold
Suzuki TS 100
2000 Honda ST1100P
1988 Enfield Bullet 350
 1941 Royal Enfield WD/C 350 engine
2021 Royal Enfield Bullet 500
2024 Honda Transalp
1999 Honda ST1100 ABS/TC
 
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Re: Holding the fort for Kev
« Reply #15883 on: January 04, 2020, 04:53:01 PM »
It's a cool, cloudy day in Portland this morning, just 16 degrees.


What you doing in Portland Bodo San?

I'm filling in for Kev whilst he is away.


p.s.
I am not actually in Portland but their weather reports seem to be popular.
 
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Online Jdbiker

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15884 on: January 04, 2020, 05:00:58 PM »
Thought you might have ridden down to feed the felines  :grin
Jdbiker.
2008 red ST1300A
1980 Yamaha XS 1100
1974. Yamaha TX 500 sold
1984   Kawasaki GT 750
1975  Honda GL1000

Honda XL 250 sold
Suzuki TS 100
2000 Honda ST1100P
1988 Enfield Bullet 350
 1941 Royal Enfield WD/C 350 engine
2021 Royal Enfield Bullet 500
2024 Honda Transalp
1999 Honda ST1100 ABS/TC
 
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« Reply #15885 on: January 04, 2020, 05:18:15 PM »
After the last two heatwaves to hit Adelaide I am chiffed to have a weekend at home enjoying the cool weather.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2020, 06:00:26 PM by Bodø »
 
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« Reply #15886 on: January 04, 2020, 06:00:47 PM »
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.



Incidently, there is a Hell in Norway and it does freeze over.
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15887 on: January 04, 2020, 09:00:18 PM »
Thanks, Bodø.  :thumb Only got home an hour or so ago, had a shower, and am heading for bed.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15888 on: January 05, 2020, 05:52:54 AM »
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.





Actually French fries aren't French at all.  They originated in Belgium.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15889 on: January 05, 2020, 09:43:04 AM »
Is it okay to walk in running water or driving rain ?
 
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15890 on: January 05, 2020, 08:26:41 PM »
What's the difference between a stockbroker and a pigeon?

A pigeon will still lay a deposit on a BMW
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15891 on: January 05, 2020, 08:28:46 PM »
Some guy got arrested for feeding pigeons at the zoo.

..... to the lions.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15892 on: January 05, 2020, 08:31:42 PM »
On a recent evening a man came to the front desk of the library. He was carrying a large plank of plywood.
On the plywood were copious amounts of what appeared to be a flour and water mix. He might have put yeast in it to make it airier and lighter. He had shaped the mixture into a kind of giant map. It appeared to have divisions for states, or provinces. He'd created a facsimile of a capitol building out of flour mix, and he made hundreds of tiny people as well. There were cities and mountains and rivers, all of it roughly discernible in its pasty white mush.

"I'd like the library to have this." The man said, setting his weighty plank onto the counter.

"I can't take this." the librarian replied. "I don't even know what it is."

He looked at him like he was a fool. "It's a dough nation."
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15893 on: January 05, 2020, 08:36:25 PM »
Prison guards should give juvenile criminals pimple cream.

Might stop them from breaking out.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15894 on: January 05, 2020, 08:39:49 PM »
A jealous pimple screamed at a blackhead ...

"Get away from him, you filthy pore!"
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15895 on: January 05, 2020, 08:46:47 PM »
Being a soprano is an advantage to becoming a pirate.


It makes it easier to deal with high C's
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15896 on: January 05, 2020, 08:49:56 PM »
A guy goes into a store and asks if they sell Potato Clocks.

The confused assistant says “I'm sorry sir, we don’t?  We have battery clocks, electrical clocks, wind up clocks.
... In fact I’ve never even heard of a potato clock?”

The man says... “Neither have I, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow and my wife said I should get a potato clock.”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15897 on: January 05, 2020, 08:53:45 PM »
My ex was sorta similar to a battery,

... Except a battery has a positive side.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15898 on: January 05, 2020, 08:57:33 PM »
I put a light bulb in the microwave, to simulate global warming.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15899 on: January 05, 2020, 10:09:11 PM »
I’m returning my microwave to Amazon.

It’s been a week since I hit the pizza button, and they haven't delivered it.
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