Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 3318692 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17125 on: March 14, 2020, 09:06:26 AM »
Lots of gender confusion there... even your daddy can be a mummy.
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17126 on: March 14, 2020, 09:07:50 AM »
That wraps up that.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17127 on: March 14, 2020, 09:09:15 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17128 on: March 14, 2020, 09:09:56 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17129 on: March 14, 2020, 09:13:56 AM »
Egypt. Home of the Pizza Tut.



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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17130 on: March 14, 2020, 02:47:46 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17131 on: March 14, 2020, 02:58:01 PM »
Are small rivers in Egypt called Juveniles?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17132 on: March 14, 2020, 04:29:02 PM »
I never realised how racist my family was, until I brought my black girlfriend home for dinner one night.

My wife and kids HATED her!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17133 on: March 14, 2020, 04:40:23 PM »
I saw a blackfella riding past on a bike.

I thought "Damn! ... that looks like mine!?"

So I rushed into the shed to check,

... but he was still there, chained to the wall
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17134 on: March 14, 2020, 06:42:43 PM »
A physician said to me, "You have High Blood Pressure"

"High blood pressure? Well Doc. It comes from my family." I replied

"Your mother's side or your father's?" The Doctor asked.

"Neither," I replied. "It's from my wife's family."

"How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?"

I sighed. "You should meet 'em sometime, Doc, then you would understand!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17135 on: March 14, 2020, 11:43:10 PM »
My Greek doctor isn’t a physician

He’s a gyropractor
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17136 on: March 14, 2020, 11:52:21 PM »
A sweet grandmother telephoned St. Joseph's Hospital.
She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

The grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said, Norma Findlay, Room 302."
The operator replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room."

After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said, "I have good news.
Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well.
Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician,
Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."
The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."

The operator replied, "You're more than welcome. Are you her daughter?"

The grandmother said, "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302.
- No one tells me shit!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17137 on: March 15, 2020, 12:27:12 AM »
Man goes to the cardiologist
"So, how many beers do you have per day?" the cardiologist asked.

"Four," the man responded.

"But last time I said you could only have two!"

"Yes, but I got a second opinion, and he also said I could have two."
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Not corny enough to be original
« Reply #17138 on: March 15, 2020, 10:34:04 AM »
Two elephants walked off a cliff, Boom Boom.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17139 on: March 15, 2020, 11:02:01 AM »
Definitely Taurus ... nobody is going anywhere with all this corona crap

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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17140 on: March 15, 2020, 11:03:52 AM »
I'm not taurus but coronavirus won't stop any of my travel plans.  That said I usually travel alone on two wheels.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17141 on: March 15, 2020, 11:06:12 AM »
Good thing your bus doesn't seat 500, Bodø  :grin
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17142 on: March 15, 2020, 11:15:24 AM »
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Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17143 on: March 15, 2020, 11:20:48 AM »
Good thing your bus doesn't seat 500, Bodø  :grin

It wouldn't make a difference.
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17144 on: March 15, 2020, 12:15:15 PM »
The PM would shut you down, as of tomorrow.

(It has to be Monday, because he has a 'Happy Clapper' gathering today, and he won't miss that, virus or no virus)
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17145 on: March 15, 2020, 12:19:55 PM »
I think public transport comes under the "essential services".
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17146 on: March 15, 2020, 02:10:07 PM »
In line at the post office this morning three people came in wearing masks...

As panic set it they said "this is a robbery" and we all calmed down.
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17147 on: March 15, 2020, 02:12:27 PM »
Eventially everyone will be quarantined to their houses with no sport on tv to watch.  Nine months from now a boom of babies will be born and they will be known as coronials.

You heard it here first.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17148 on: March 15, 2020, 02:15:56 PM »
 :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17149 on: March 15, 2020, 02:39:14 PM »
Thieves ignore State and Federal laws, they have their own law to follow.


It's called The Law of Grabbity.
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