Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 382791 times)

Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17625 on: March 26, 2020, 03:55:25 PM »
Funniest scam email ever... claims that my student loan monthly repayment is overdue!  :rofl :rofl :rofl

I think university education was free in your day.

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17626 on: March 26, 2020, 03:56:45 PM »
Too true!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17627 on: March 26, 2020, 06:14:52 PM »
A bus driver was heading down a street.
He went right through a stop sign without stopping.
Next he turned left where there was a "no-left turn" sign.
Finally he went the wrong way down a one-way street.

Bodø, can you tell me why he didn't break any traffic laws?

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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17628 on: March 26, 2020, 06:17:10 PM »
He was a pedestrian on a footpath.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17629 on: March 26, 2020, 06:18:14 PM »
Yep, his day off work.
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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17630 on: March 26, 2020, 06:22:12 PM »
It doesn't necessarily have to be his day off.

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17631 on: March 26, 2020, 06:23:35 PM »
Maybe he missed his bus?
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Online Bodø

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However, if the stop sign is a red man in pedestrian lights then he is breaking the law.  *@#!king aresholes do that a lot in Adelaide.

Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17633 on: March 26, 2020, 06:24:48 PM »
Maybe he missed his bus?

Lunch break, before/after work, time between runs... possibilities are endless.

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17634 on: March 26, 2020, 07:30:01 PM »
A guy wants a divorce.

He said to the judge "I cant take it anymore, she's out going from bar to bar every night, until way past midnight!"

The judge responds "What's she doing?"

The guy says "Looking for me!"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17635 on: March 26, 2020, 09:44:58 PM »
Funniest scam email ever... claims that my student loan monthly repayment is overdue!  :rofl :rofl :rofl

I think university education was free in your day.

Did they even have uni's back then?  :whistle  :Stirpot

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17636 on: March 27, 2020, 01:17:51 AM »
I love the way the earth spins.

It makes my day.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17637 on: March 27, 2020, 01:35:21 AM »
The best way to prevent Trump from drowning, would be to shoot him in the head.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17638 on: March 27, 2020, 01:36:44 AM »
Why is it so damned hard to plug a qsn stick in the right way up!

Dammit, I mean a usb stick.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17639 on: March 27, 2020, 03:50:27 AM »
Mechanics might disagree, but...

... technically, eyedrops  are blinker fluid.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Bodø

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17640 on: March 27, 2020, 04:13:36 AM »
All countries will eventually get coronavirus but China got it right off the bat.
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17641 on: March 27, 2020, 08:52:40 AM »
Dad:“Son, I killed 15 people in Vietnam.”

Son: "Dad, you were a helicopter mechanic?"

Dad: "Never said I was a good one!"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17642 on: March 27, 2020, 04:16:28 PM »
So, you don't trust a doctor to stitch you up after surgery?

Fine. Suture self.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17643 on: March 27, 2020, 04:21:48 PM »
My surgeon is actually quite a comedian.

His last three procedures left me in stitches!
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Bike and car Licence since 1964, first bike 147 cc Francis Barnett Plover 1960
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17644 on: March 27, 2020, 08:20:46 PM »
A long time ago, I was playing soccer with a midget.

I got arrested for assault.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17645 on: March 27, 2020, 10:20:44 PM »
6.45 p.m. Friday night ... I get an SMS from my girlfriend: 'Me or football?!'

11 p.m. I reply: 'You of course.'
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17646 on: March 27, 2020, 11:39:04 PM »
With no footy on the tele you could've replied at 6.46 and earn't some extra brownie points, Kev... :rofl

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17647 on: March 27, 2020, 11:57:00 PM »
Who said I was watching footy?  ;-*  :grin Maybe I already scored?
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17648 on: March 28, 2020, 12:07:18 AM »
What do you call a legless Spanish footballer?

Gracias.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17649 on: March 28, 2020, 02:39:38 AM »
My friend David just emailed me from Israel to tell me that the first
Israeli death attributed to the virus has just been announced.

It was a man who had been in isolation for two weeks with his wife.



She strangled him…
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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