Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 4158615 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17875 on: April 19, 2020, 10:57:20 AM »
Damn it all!... Petrol prices have dropped so low it's a steal!

... and I have only ridden 7.4km in the past 2 weeks! (home, - supermarkets, Banks - home again)



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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17876 on: April 19, 2020, 11:04:03 AM »
... and more than half of that distance has been thru carparks!
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Offline ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17877 on: April 19, 2020, 11:23:21 AM »
You need my "Tesla", Kev... :grin
It's got a nice bag for your shopping hanging off the back...


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17878 on: April 19, 2020, 11:39:33 AM »
 :rofl
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17879 on: April 19, 2020, 11:41:50 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17880 on: April 19, 2020, 11:45:35 AM »
Day 2 in lockdown without sports on TV
Found a nice lady sitting on my couch.

She says she is my wife.

Seems nice.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17881 on: April 19, 2020, 11:47:46 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17882 on: April 19, 2020, 11:59:43 AM »
Some years ago the Pope was visiting Australia as part of a world tour.

On a day when he had a few hours to spare he asked if he could be shown one of the famous beaches, so his hosts took him to a beautiful, secluded beach on the south coast.

As the Pope and his entourage were walking along the pristine sand, a sudden commotion in the water caught everyone’s attention—a man wearing an All-Black top was seen to be swimming furiously towards shore, with a great white shark in hot pursuit.

Just as it appeared that the Kiwi was about to be torn to pieces by the shark, a motor boat carrying four men wearing green and gold rounded the point.

They ran their boat directly at the shark and stabbed it with grappling hooks just before the shark reached the Kiwi. They then carefully lifted the man from the water and gently placed him on the bottom of their boat before turning the boat to go around the point again, with the dead shark in tow.

The Pope asked his entourage to get their attention—he wanted to talk to these heroic Aussies who had rescued a foreigner, and an New Zealander at that, from certain death.

As requested, the Aussies turned their boat towards shore, and glided gently up on the sand next to where the Pope was standing.

His Holiness was effusive in his praise, saying that he had heard about possible bad relations between Australians and New Zealanders, but that their prompt action was an inspiration to all mankind, showing how people could live in peace and harmony, and selflessly help each other when help was needed.

After the Pope and his entourage left, one of the Aussies asked: ‘Who the heck was that?’

One of his mates replied: ‘That was the Pope. He has direct communication with God, and knows all there is to know about doctrinal matters’.

‘Well’, said his companion, ‘He knows stuff all about shark fishing, tho.
Anyway, is that bait still all right, or do we need to get another one?’
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17883 on: April 19, 2020, 12:04:02 PM »
Corona Beer has changed their name to avoid association with the Coronavirus outbreak

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17884 on: April 19, 2020, 12:20:03 PM »


(It's more effective than Donalds wall)
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17885 on: April 19, 2020, 01:11:12 PM »
Son: "Hey Mum, when is this virus thing gonna be over?"


Mum: "Just shut up, and eat your toilet paper!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17886 on: April 19, 2020, 01:13:54 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17887 on: April 19, 2020, 01:23:00 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17888 on: April 19, 2020, 02:13:52 PM »
I’m not saying that I hate my ex.

But if she got hit by a bus, I’d wanna be the driver.

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17889 on: April 19, 2020, 02:20:33 PM »
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17890 on: April 19, 2020, 05:32:41 PM »
 :rofl
 

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17891 on: April 19, 2020, 06:43:40 PM »
I invited my new girlfriend to a party for my 13 year old nephew.

She let out an audible "Awww," told me how sweet I was, and that my invitation meant the world to her.

Should've seen the look on her face when I told her it was a search party, after he disappeared from the beach.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17892 on: April 19, 2020, 06:49:25 PM »
Reality TV..

I REALISED my 10 year old nephew had been watching too many reality TV shows the day we attended a relative’s wedding.

As the four bridesmaids walked down the aisle toward the front of the church, he turned to me and asked, “Is this the part where the groom decides which one he wants to marry?”
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17893 on: April 19, 2020, 06:54:44 PM »
"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.
"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.

Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah, I bequeath eighty thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice, fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know
if he was mentioned in my will, I say "Hi, Charles!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17894 on: April 19, 2020, 07:10:56 PM »
My chicken died.

Unsure if the cremation will be deep fried or roasted.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17895 on: April 20, 2020, 01:04:00 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17896 on: April 20, 2020, 01:04:31 AM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17897 on: April 20, 2020, 01:09:24 AM »
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Offline ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17898 on: April 20, 2020, 01:12:31 AM »


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Offline ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17899 on: April 20, 2020, 01:13:31 AM »


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