Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 546356 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25650 on: January 14, 2021, 09:43:49 AM »
It's called 'Natural Selection' Don't ya just love it?

https://9gag.com/gag/amPLqMo
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25651 on: January 14, 2021, 09:49:00 AM »
A very popular man dies in Aberdeen and his old widow wishes to tell all his friends at once so she goes to the Aberdeen Evening Express and says "I'd like tae place an obituary fur ma late husband"

The man at the desk says "OK, how much money dae ye have?"

The old woman replies "5" to which the man says "You wont get many words for that, but write something and we'll see if it's ok" so the old woman writes something and hands it over the counter and the man reads

"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth, deid"

He feels guilty at the abruptness of the statement and encourages the old woman to write a few more things. The old woman ponders and then adds a few more words and hand the paper over the counter again. The man then reads

"Peter Reid, fae Kincorth deid. Ford Escort for sale"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25652 on: January 14, 2021, 10:12:53 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25653 on: January 14, 2021, 10:16:00 AM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25654 on: January 14, 2021, 10:51:30 AM »
Quote
My data recovery program was also installed on this hard drive.

Download Pandora recovery, its a great program ( you may need another hard drive to recover to)

https://www.stellarinfo.com/gdc/best-data-recovery-software.php?gclid=Cj0KCQiA0fr_BRDaARIsAABw4EsZiP9a2dbmFKtw5Tg-3K2NMvMyBhvCFGzf3ezWsLbKlPANZTtX9BEaAsCtEALw_wcB
Brock
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2003 Honda ST1100PY



Ulysses #32829
STOC #8239
OzSToc # ??
Kinross WA
 
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25655 on: January 14, 2021, 11:01:57 AM »
It's called 'Natural Selection' Don't ya just love it?

https://9gag.com/gag/amPLqMo

In fairness, the driver may have encroached onto the crossing...still funny though!  :grin
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25656 on: January 14, 2021, 01:06:00 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25657 on: January 14, 2021, 03:10:58 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25658 on: January 14, 2021, 03:18:30 PM »
Cruise Ship
 

DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE
I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and makeup. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO
We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE
I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and
attentive gentleman.


DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR
Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE
Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside . The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't come to his cabin for the night, he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX
Today I saved 1600 lives ... Three times!
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25659 on: January 14, 2021, 03:19:34 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25660 on: January 14, 2021, 03:22:06 PM »
"Sally", asked Linda thoughtfully one day, "What would you do if you caught another woman in bed with your husband?"

"With George??" Sally thought it over. "Let's see; I'd break her cane, shoot her seeing eye dog, and call a cab to take her back to the institution she escaped from!"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25661 on: January 14, 2021, 03:50:04 PM »
Still slowly collecting coin from PureProfile surveys ... In the meantime I have already earned another $4.48 from a different survey mob that Russ put me onto at lunchtime today.

*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25662 on: January 14, 2021, 04:10:33 PM »
The text reads :



« Last Edit: January 14, 2021, 04:14:01 PM by Kev Murphy »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25663 on: January 14, 2021, 04:28:19 PM »
Blondes are a poor choice when employing staff.
Unless they are rostered to work on public holidays, they need to be retrained when they return to work.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25664 on: January 14, 2021, 04:47:12 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25665 on: January 14, 2021, 04:54:40 PM »
The Goldberg brothers, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner.
Didn't know that, did ya..

On July 17th, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees F.

The 3 brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that three gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.

Ford was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.

They persuaded him to get into the car which was "Blistering Hot" - they turned on the air-conditioner and cooled off the car immediately.

Old Henry Ford got very excited and invited them back to the office where he offered them $3 million dollars on the spot for the patent.

The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $5 million, but they also wanted their recognition by having a label "The Goldberg Air Conditioner" on the dashboard of each car that it was installed in.

Now old man Ford was more than just a little bit Anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on millions of Ford cars.

They haggled back and forth for about 2 hours and finally agreed on $4 million dollars, and that just their first names would be displayed.

And so, even today, all Ford air-conditioners show on the controls their names, "Norm, Hi, & Max".
There, now ya know it...
« Last Edit: January 14, 2021, 04:58:24 PM by Kev Murphy »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25666 on: January 14, 2021, 05:17:27 PM »
Latest US News...

Impeached again.

Byebye Donald, onya bike, you're fired.  :beer :thumbs :clap :hatwave

Go play golf.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25667 on: January 14, 2021, 05:54:03 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25668 on: January 14, 2021, 06:12:17 PM »
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25669 on: January 14, 2021, 06:59:55 PM »
I ordered two large fries at a takeaway, but they gave me dozens of little ones?
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25670 on: January 14, 2021, 07:04:38 PM »
C'mon, Google! Get your act together!

I was  searching for PAWN Stars! You know, second-hand dealers?
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25671 on: January 14, 2021, 07:17:13 PM »
 I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!" ! By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!" I was just bursting with pride for them.
"Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven"?

Little Johnny shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE FREAKIN' DEAD FIRST!"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25672 on: January 14, 2021, 07:58:59 PM »
Stupid driver ran a red light and failed to give way to me earlier.

I think he is suffering from 'car-owner' virus.
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
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Online NTRebel

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25673 on: January 14, 2021, 08:04:51 PM »
You should have given him a car- owner vaccination with your gatlin gun.
I'm not strange i'm just not normal {Salvador Dahli}
 
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #25674 on: January 14, 2021, 08:55:42 PM »
A group of Minnesota friends went deer hunting, and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail." he replied.

"You left Henry laying out there, and carried the deer back??" they inquired.

"A tough call", nodded the hunter. "But I figure no one's going to steal Henry!"
*YAWN*.... beautiful day.... where's my keys?
Bruised and bent, not broken. I survived.
0428 306 496
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