Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 542268 times)

Offline Kev Murphy

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7927 on: June 21, 2025, 05:01:15 PM »
If you cannot hear a pin drop …

Then something is definitely wrong with your bowling.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7928 on: June 21, 2025, 06:11:19 PM »
I’m good at firework displays.

I’ve got a flare for it.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7929 on: June 21, 2025, 08:44:59 PM »
Chefs have to be very precise when measuring out butter.

There’s no margarine for error.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7930 on: June 21, 2025, 09:10:34 PM »
Three vampire brothers hold a competition.
The first brother who is the strongest. “Watch this,” he says, and takes off at nearly 100 miles per hour. Two minutes later, he returns, his mouth covered in blood. “What happened?!” his brothers exclaimed. “You see that mansion over there?” “Yeah?” “Well, I went over there and sucked each and every last family member dry. They are all dead.” “Wow!” his brothers say. “As expected, for you are the strongest.”
The second brother to go is the oldest. “Watch and learn, boys,” he says, and takes off even quicker, at 150 miles per hour. Five minutes later, he returns, both his mouth and his neck covered in blood. “What happened?!” His brothers exclaimed. “You see that village over there?” “Yeah?” They said. “Well, I went over there and killed every last person in the entire village. There is not one left alive.” “Wow!” his brothers say in awe. “As expected, for you are the oldest and have the most experience.”
The third brother who is the fastest. Not to be outdone, he says, “Watch this, and don’t blink or you might miss it.” He flies off, faster than the rest of them, going at least 200mph. In only ten seconds, he returns. His entire mouth, nose, and neck are covered in so much blood, it stains the front of his shirt. “What happened?!” his brothers exclaimed.
“You see that giant tree over there?”
“…Yeah?”
“Well, I didn’t…”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7931 on: June 21, 2025, 11:27:32 PM »
I take off my glasses, and mute the TV when Donald Trump appears...

...I've seen and heard enough of his lies and B.S. for my lifetime.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7932 on: June 22, 2025, 02:31:24 AM »
Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Because he doesn’t want to be spotted.


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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7933 on: June 22, 2025, 06:37:53 AM »
The old fella who lives next door has really acute hearing.....

He's deaf -defying.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7934 on: June 22, 2025, 09:50:47 AM »
I used to have a dog that did magic tricks.

It was a labracadabrador!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7935 on: June 22, 2025, 10:35:10 AM »
James Bond slept through an earthquake.

He was shaken, not stirred.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7936 on: June 22, 2025, 12:42:39 PM »
Trump thinks he's the king of the jungle.

He's always lion...
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7937 on: June 22, 2025, 01:27:20 PM »
Did you hear about the new bikini documentary?

It’s a two part series that’s quite revealing.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7938 on: June 22, 2025, 03:01:17 PM »
After dinner my wife asked me if I could clear the table.

I needed a run up, but I made it.


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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7939 on: June 22, 2025, 04:08:42 PM »
DON'T buy anything with velcro.

It’s a total rip-off.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7940 on: June 22, 2025, 05:21:51 PM »
As I handed my Dad his 44th birthday card, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said…

“You know, one would have been enough.”
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7941 on: June 22, 2025, 06:19:45 PM »
Trump recently added two new flag poles on the White House lawn.
He was confused when he learned that this did not increase his poll numbers.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7942 on: June 22, 2025, 06:30:48 PM »
I can’t stand stair lifts.

They drive me up the wall!
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7943 on: June 22, 2025, 07:55:24 PM »
Due to a misunderstanding, Trump has been nominated for a NOBEL Peace Prize.

All he really wants is a piece of Mexico, a piece of Gaza, a piece of Canada, a piece of Greenland, etc....

Declaring war and bombing another country is not really helpful to the cause.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7944 on: June 22, 2025, 09:19:30 PM »
Parallel lines have so much in common…
 it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
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Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Offline Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7946 on: June 23, 2025, 12:16:48 AM »
I was going to tell you a joke about construction.

But I’m still working on it.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7947 on: June 23, 2025, 05:09:08 AM »
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines…

.... But catscan.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7948 on: June 23, 2025, 05:49:34 AM »
The circle is just the most ridiculous shape in the world.

There’s absolutely no point to it.
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Offline Kev Murphy

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  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, Mk III. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7949 on: June 23, 2025, 06:22:24 AM »
My wife traumatically ripped the blankets off me last night.

Took me awhile to recover.
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