A blonde has become dreadfully overweight. She goes to the doctor and he decides to put her on a diet.
"I want you to eat normally for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. Next time I see you, you'll probbaly be 5 pounds lighter."
The blonde returns after 2 weeks, but upon weighing her it turns out she lost 20 pounds.
"That's amazing!" Said the doctor, "and you followed my instructions?"
The blonde nodds, tiredly. "I'll tell you, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
"From hunger, you mean?" Asked her doctor.
"No, silly, from the skipping!"
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A new blonde stewardess began her first day. The route they were flying required that they make a stop in another city for the night. Soon after their arrival the captain showed all the flight attendants to their rooms.
The next morning the pilot was preparing everyone to leave, and he noticed his new flight attendant was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, as he was wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing. "I can't get out of my room!"
“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?”
The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says, ‘Do Not Disturb’!”
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A manager walks by his blonde secretary's desk when he notices she is crying her eyes out. Concerned for her well being, he asked her gently: "What's the matter?"
To which the blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my aunt had passed away.”
The boss, feeling very sorry for her, suggests to the young girl. “Why don’t you take a day, go home and rest. We're not very busy, so just take this time for yourself.
The blonde very calmly replies “No, I’d be better off here. It's good to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here.”
The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual. “If you need anything just let me know.”
Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde crying hysterically. He rushes out to her asking, “What’s so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?”
“No”, exclaims the blonde, “I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that HER aunt died too!”
