Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 754441 times)

Offline Brock

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So have at it Kev
Brock
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Offline Brian

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2015, 06:20:51 PM »
You are so accomodating Mr Brock
I jus wanna ride my bike

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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2015, 08:46:25 PM »
While I'm not a fan of open face helmets, if I had to wear one on my melon, it would be the watermelon version.  It wins ahead (pun intended) of the brain one because of the chunk cut out of the pic at the rear.
Mind you, the hair and ears would get a lot of second looks from the Constabulary!    :grin

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Offline Brock

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #3 on: November 29, 2015, 04:32:29 PM »
 :|||| :||||
Brock
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Offline STeveo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #4 on: November 29, 2015, 04:56:29 PM »
Skite!!!!!
 
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Offline alans1100

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #5 on: November 30, 2015, 12:55:52 PM »
We used to watch that show on TV.......
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #6 on: November 30, 2015, 04:15:15 PM »
:rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup :rofl :crackup

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Offline Philbo

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #7 on: November 30, 2015, 05:17:44 PM »
A mathematician named Hall
Had a hexahedronical ball
and the square of it's weight
times his pecker, plus eight
is his phone number.  Give him a call.
Ermagard
 
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Offline Shiney

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #8 on: December 01, 2015, 05:07:56 PM »
That was awesome, thanks for sharing :thumbs

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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2015, 02:15:38 PM »
Have you got a GPS tag on him, that you know this amount of detail?    :eek
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #10 on: December 04, 2015, 12:31:32 PM »


You would have thought the first one would have seen it.
Cheers,
Gary
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Offline spanner

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2015, 12:37:53 PM »
A blonde decides to do something crazy she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first X-rated adult video. She goes to the dirty movie store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into something comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain. Blonde: "I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static." Store Clerk: "Sorry about that. We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?" Blonde: "It's called 'Head Cleaner'



 :spank
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Offline STroppy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2015, 05:24:05 AM »
A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck.

Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.

After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.

One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm away from the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but  there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Hillary Clinton.

That evening, the man brought Hillary to the evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze, perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Hillary and told her he hadn't had sex for months.

Hillary batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.


He said, 'Can you please take the dog for a walk.'
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Offline spanner

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2015, 09:19:38 AM »
Past, present, and future walked into a bar.... It was tense
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Offline WendyL

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #14 on: December 11, 2015, 09:55:26 AM »
A HUGE 'Thank You' to Woolworths for their new Rewards Card program.

Re:- the new Supermarket price wars... Coles are not in the race here, as there is no Coles store in town.

YET!

Since Woolies started their new (KOFF! KOFF!) 'Rewards ' program a few weeks ago, I have earned the Grand Total Sum of ... $ZERO! benefits

The only beneficiary being Woolies, charging premium inflated prices on their 'rarer-than-chicken-lips' orange-carded 'Specials' to cover the cost of the rebates.
 
In the past, I could get 20 to 30 dollars rebate off my groceries each month, ...  now their so-called rewards cards aren't even worth the plastic card production costs.

Its not even worth the '4 cents/litre off ' fuel prices, which is less than ONE DOLLAR per month rebate, for each top-up for the bike? :cuss

...So, after a  :phone to a rather agitated and frazzled Sydney Head Office spokesperson this morning, I now shop at ALDI and IGA, where normal everyday shopping goods are far cheaper.... and are only one block away, same street. :beer

I now refer Woolies to the 'Blowfly Principle' ... eat sh** and die!  :-(((  Sit back, and watch them panic as they lose droves of customers.  :popcorn


Vent over, stepping down off my soapbox now

I finally got to $10 worth of rewards on my last shop, after spending $300-400 a week since the changeover (feeding teenagers is bloody expensive....).  Very rarely see orange tags on items that I buy regularly, you know, fruit and veg, meat, dairy, eggs etc, although last week they had 20c back per 2L bottle of Woollies branded milk, so I bought 5 x 2L bottles instead of my usual 3 x 3L, saved a dollar.....  :cuss :cuss
:KissBlow
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #15 on: December 11, 2015, 11:36:21 AM »
They can only pretend to be generous, since they're on the ropes in the supermarket wars.
We drive past Woolies to go to Coles.  It's 2 kays further, but my main grocery buyer (aka SWAMBO) prefers Coles anyway, even if they were the same prices.
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Offline Gadget

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #16 on: December 11, 2015, 01:17:00 PM »
A HUGE 'Thank You' to Woolworths for their new Rewards Card program.

Re:- the new Supermarket price wars... Coles are not in the race here, as there is no Coles store in town.

YET!

Since Woolies started their new (KOFF! KOFF!) 'Rewards ' program a few weeks ago, I have earned the Grand Total Sum of ... $ZERO! benefits

The only beneficiary being Woolies, charging premium inflated prices on their 'rarer-than-chicken-lips' orange-carded 'Specials' to cover the cost of the rebates.
 
In the past, I could get 20 to 30 dollars rebate off my groceries each month, ...  now their so-called rewards cards aren't even worth the plastic card production costs.

Its not even worth the '4 cents/litre off ' fuel prices, which is less than ONE DOLLAR per month rebate, for each top-up for the bike? :cuss

...So, after a  hone to a rather agitated and frazzled Sydney Head Office spokesperson this morning, I now shop at ALDI and IGA, where normal everyday shopping goods are far cheaper.... and are only one block away, same street. :beer

I now refer Woolies to the 'Blowfly Principle' ... eat sh** and die!  :-(((  Sit back, and watch them panic as they lose droves of customers.  opcorn




Vent over, stepping down off my soapbox now
I'm not bothering with Woolies "reward" card either. It used to add to my QANTAS frequent flyers, but a alas no longer. So I'm leaving that useless piece of plastic at home. I'm not buying orange 'special' sh!t I wasn't going to buy anyway.
Cheers,
Gary
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Offline alans1100

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #17 on: December 11, 2015, 02:58:18 PM »
Our local is Foodland (independent but in with IGA) and the owners have 4 stores in SA. They recently put a rewards system in place which is so much better than the new Woolies one. We get 1 cent for every dollar we spend in store and it's on everything except cigs. Plus we get 4 cents a litre off fuel at the tyre dealer if we spend more than $40 a shop. And pensioners get a 5% discount on non special priced items on Tuesdays before 4 pm.

We only shop Woolies or Coles when we go to Port Pirie every two weeks or so and only buy the items we know are cheaper there than home.
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #18 on: December 11, 2015, 05:22:23 PM »
We used to buy our coffee beans from a local Roaster for $40 a kilo , was in Aldi and spotted beans for $12 a kg which we tried and liked . $28 is a real good savings and as you have shown Kev you can buy a lot at Aldi for $28
 
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Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #19 on: December 11, 2015, 10:37:28 PM »
I'm loving my ALDI $149 four stroke mower.  Seven starts, each one firing up on the first pull of the rope.  First one straight out of the box after adding fuel and oil.
There was actually residual oil in the engine, so it had been factory tested.  Not too many years ago I wouldn't touch a Chinese small engine with a forty foot pole.
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

OzSTOC #16  STOC #6135  FarR #509  IBA #54927
 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2015, 12:09:46 PM »
Riding around the new burbs of CBR lunch time last Wed , two lanes both ways , bus lane , cycle lane and turning lane.. I would have liked a bit of traffic to play with

 
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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2015, 05:14:33 PM »
Went the movies to see Life of Brian ,last saw it when it came out in 1979 doesn't time fly it was a laugh
We like the Palace Vintage sessions on Sunday arvo you can take in a glass of wine and a cheese platter
They serve the wine in standard ,feature or epic size

 

Offline Biggles

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #22 on: December 14, 2015, 09:20:15 AM »
With all those huge hard drives spinning 24/7, do you ever have one fail?
For the modern man who lives in the city, riding a bike might be one of the only ways to escape the humdrum monotony. To take off and ride. To be both at one with nature and one with the bike. To feel masculine. Adam Piggott

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Offline alans1100

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #23 on: December 15, 2015, 11:24:28 AM »
I think this will be a good place to put this......

Why I sacked my secretary.

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, this morning she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday".

I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, "Good morning boss, happy birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me".

I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's go to my apartment".

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back".

"OK", I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked...
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Offline Wild Rose

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #24 on: December 15, 2015, 03:03:51 PM »
Love it  :grin
I have heard it before but it's always good for a laugh  :like
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