Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2925734 times)

Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30425 on: May 06, 2021, 04:07:40 PM »
Breaking News

China has officially cut off all communications with Australia.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30426 on: May 06, 2021, 04:45:18 PM »
You have a higher chance of being hit twice by lightning on a Thursday morning, than you have of winning the lotto.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30427 on: May 06, 2021, 08:37:51 PM »
Got 11 seconds to spare? only took about 4 minutes of my time to work this one up....

https://youtu.be/YnEmuZfsk-A
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Online ruSTynutz

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30428 on: May 06, 2021, 09:26:56 PM »
You might have to spend a bit more time on it, Kev!
I can't watch it as it says it's unavailable as it's set to private... :whistle


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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30429 on: May 06, 2021, 09:30:03 PM »
working on it ...
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30430 on: May 06, 2021, 09:37:42 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30431 on: May 06, 2021, 10:10:04 PM »
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Online ruSTynutz

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30433 on: May 06, 2021, 10:19:50 PM »
 :thumbsup
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30434 on: May 06, 2021, 10:52:24 PM »
Careful, guys.. crossing the road could be dangeroos!

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30435 on: May 06, 2021, 10:54:45 PM »
Middle Ages Joke ..

Flower: "I will droop my petals a little."

Aspiring gardener: "THOU WILT NOT!"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30436 on: May 06, 2021, 11:17:56 PM »
According to a survey, 64% of Americans couldn't locate Ukraine on a world map.

The other 36% said, "What's a world map?"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30437 on: May 06, 2021, 11:22:34 PM »
Its 1848 and two hunters from Boston are on a buffalo hunting expedition. They've hired the famous Blackfoot tracker, Grey Owl to track and locate buffalo for them.
As they follow Grey Owl's trail, they catch sight of him just ahead.

Grey Owl has his ear to the ground, and as the two hunters get close he says, "Three wagons, each pulled by four horses pass this way 20 minutes ago!"

The hunters are blown away! This is amazing! One of them asks, "Can you tell all of that, just from listening to the ground?!"

"No", says Grey Owl, "As I listen for buffalo, the bastards ran me over."
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30438 on: May 06, 2021, 11:26:51 PM »
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30439 on: May 07, 2021, 12:31:47 AM »
A soldier stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time, and keep his mind off of the local women.
The wife complied, and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.

Rotated home months later, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... lemme look at you... let me hold you! Let's have a dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much !"

The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time, loverboy . First, let's hear you play that bloody harmonica!"

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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30440 on: May 07, 2021, 12:39:39 AM »
In the Middle Ages, people celebrated the end of the plague by holding orgies.

Does anyone know if something is already planned post-Covid??
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30441 on: May 07, 2021, 12:42:22 AM »
Unvaccinated kids don't care about the Middle Ages, 'cause they’ll never experience them.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30442 on: May 07, 2021, 12:44:23 AM »
When Hitler conquered Ukraine, his soldiers sent back a message saying that the women were beautiful and enclosed a picture of them.

Upon seeing this picture, Hitler declared that these women were honorary Aryans, and demanded they bring back as many women as they could.

When Hitler conquered Finland, his soldiers sent back a message saying that the women were beautiful and enclosed a picture of them.

Hitler looked at the picture, and demanded they bring back as much Finnish alcohol as they could carry.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30443 on: May 07, 2021, 12:46:35 AM »
Spam in the Middle Ages.

A prince is awaiting a letter from his loved one for three days and three nights.
On the fourth day, a pigeon flies in and drops a letter on his lap. When he opens it he reads:

"Get your sword forged cheaply"
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30444 on: May 07, 2021, 01:21:41 AM »
Daniel Andrews is a big believer in 'free speech.'

Providing it's his own, and everyone else shuts their mouth.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30445 on: May 07, 2021, 04:43:00 AM »
Where is ScoMo's temple located?

On the sides of his head.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30446 on: May 07, 2021, 04:44:26 AM »
I visited Ukraine's latest tourist attraction, Chernobyl.

I give it three thumbs up!
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30447 on: May 07, 2021, 04:48:45 AM »
Somewhere in the Carpathian Mountains in Western Ukraine a guy gets pulled over by a policeman.
After checking his papers, the policeman asks the driver to pop the trunk for him.
In there, he discovers a heavily mutilated body.

— What is this?
— A Russian.
— What a tragic suicide! Drive on.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30448 on: May 07, 2021, 04:54:16 AM »
What’s the difference between Volodymyr Zelensky, the president of Ukraine, and Trump?

The president of Ukraine is a comedian, Trump was a bad joke.
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Online Kev Murphy

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Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30449 on: May 07, 2021, 04:56:16 AM »
Police are reporting that they have just located a truck of stolen goods.

Though they are not hopeful that anyone will come forward to claim the North Korean fruitcake.
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