Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3113030 times)

Brock · « **Reply #30250 on:** May 03, 2021, 12:02:02 AM »

Time you went to bed Kev....

Your jokes are getting unusually bad...

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30251 on:** May 03, 2021, 04:26:22 AM »

I am so bald that I look like a roll on deodorant.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30252 on:** May 03, 2021, 04:28:49 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30253 on:** May 03, 2021, 05:45:05 AM »

A pastor, known for his lengthy sermons, noticed a man get up and leave during the middle of his message.
The man returned just before the conclusion of the service.
Afterwards the pastor asked the man where he had gone?

"I went to get a haircut," was the reply.

"But," said the pastor, "Why didn't you do that before the service?"

The gentleman replied, "Well, when the service started, I didn't need one."

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30254 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:03:01 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30255 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:17:31 AM »

Life may begin at 40, but it doesn't get real interesting until around 130 kph.

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30256 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:25:50 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30257 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:35:18 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30258 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:37:07 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30259 on:** May 03, 2021, 10:38:21 AM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30260 on:** May 03, 2021, 12:20:41 PM »

Maybe a couple of occy straps needed to secure that kid?

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30261 on:** May 03, 2021, 01:07:37 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30262 on:** May 03, 2021, 01:10:01 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30263 on:** May 03, 2021, 02:12:45 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30264 on:** May 03, 2021, 02:43:40 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30265 on:** May 03, 2021, 02:45:11 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30266 on:** May 03, 2021, 02:45:53 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30267 on:** May 03, 2021, 02:47:12 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30268 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:30:57 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30269 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:34:42 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30270 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:35:15 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30271 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:35:38 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30272 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:42:35 PM »

A man is hitchhiking on a lonely road.
After a good while, an old beat up truck stops and picks him up and after a couple of minutes of small talk the driver asked the man if he wants some booze.

"Sure!" he said and was handed a bottle.
When he tried to drink it, the smell of bad moonshine overwhelmed him, and he declined the drink.

The old man driving stood on the brakes and pulled up a shotgun and screamed: "You drink, NOW! ... or I blow your head off!!!"

The guy does what he's told, and takes a steady sip.

The old man then said: "Good, now you aim the gun at me, so I can have a drink too!"

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30273 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:51:10 PM »

Kev Murphy · « **Reply #30274 on:** May 03, 2021, 03:58:43 PM »

A few years ago, I decided to visit my sister who was living in France. I assumed that most French would speak English.
I found that many people spoke only their own language, and this included the ticket inspector on the train.
He punched my ticket, then chatted cordially for a bit, making several expansive gestures.
I simply nodded from time to time to show him that I was interested.

When he had gone, a Pommy tourist sitting behind me leaned forward, and asked if I spoke French?
"No," I admitted.
"Then that explains why you didn't bat an eyelid, when he told you that you were on the wrong bloody train!"

News:

Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone) (Read 3113030 times)