Author Topic: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)  (Read 2927582 times)

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30525 on: May 08, 2021, 02:49:36 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 
The following users thanked this post: STeveo

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30526 on: May 08, 2021, 04:04:02 PM »
Obviously an organ donor.
Mind you, I like the safety aspect of the sunglasses,
especially as it is overcast.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30527 on: May 08, 2021, 04:13:06 PM »
If you could end coronavirus by sacrificing one genre of music, then which one would it be, and..

Why K-pop?
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30528 on: May 08, 2021, 04:15:43 PM »
Why don't you see black envelopes in the postal mail?

Black mail has always been a crime.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30529 on: May 08, 2021, 04:22:27 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30530 on: May 08, 2021, 04:26:45 PM »
Kim and Kanye are combining their talents to make a new genre of music.

They call it plastic rap.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30531 on: May 08, 2021, 04:28:31 PM »
A boy boards a bus with a sandwich in his hand.

The bus driver said: "Hey, kid! this ain't a restaurant!!"

The boy replied: "I know. That's why I brought my own food."
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30532 on: May 08, 2021, 04:30:12 PM »
What's twice as good as a tuna sandwich?

A fauna sandwich.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30533 on: May 08, 2021, 04:51:49 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30534 on: May 08, 2021, 04:56:48 PM »
A man went to Blockbuster, and starts looking at movies.
He goes through different genres until he stops at superheroes and ask to the shop assistant:

"Could I rent "Batman Forever"?"

Shop assistant replies:

"No, Batman must be returned within seven days."
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30535 on: May 08, 2021, 05:01:21 PM »
THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD...
How bad is it you ask?

So bad,

THAT....

My neighbour got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline.
I got a call centre in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30536 on: May 08, 2021, 06:32:44 PM »
Chick-fil-a don't have a double chicken sandwich.

2 chicks together isn't really their thing.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30537 on: May 08, 2021, 06:35:24 PM »
The key to job security is not just cultivating a strong relationship with your boss, but your boss' boss as well.

Having constant open dialogue, strengthening trust, and exhibiting vulnerability is the key, especially during periods of layoffs...

That way over time, you'll hopefully build up enough blackmail material to hold against them in case they ever want to fire you.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30538 on: May 08, 2021, 06:40:13 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30539 on: May 08, 2021, 06:46:11 PM »


Maybe he just hates cats?
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30540 on: May 08, 2021, 06:54:19 PM »
What's a pirates favourite weapon?

An Arrgh-PG.

0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30541 on: May 08, 2021, 09:01:41 PM »
My blond friend once used “GokuBatmanHulkPikachuBakugouLucinaMulanAangNewyork” as her e-mail password.

She said that her password needed 8 Characters with 1 Capital.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30542 on: May 08, 2021, 09:04:19 PM »
Each president has subconsciously affected the porn industry in various ways.

During the Clinton era, infidelity and work place scenarios became really popular.

During the Bush years, the demand for "dumb blonde" types hit an all time high.

During Obama's presidency, the interracial genre took off.

And in the past four years, incest porn has become really popular.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30543 on: May 08, 2021, 09:08:23 PM »
A girl was at the store getting a sandwich and some chips.

The guy at the checkout asked "Would you like a drink?"

To which she says "I'm flattered, but I have a boyfriend"

And the guy replied "No. It's part of the meal deal"
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30544 on: May 08, 2021, 09:09:05 PM »
I saw my ex working at subway the other day.

So I stopped in, and had her make me a sandwich, for old times sake.
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30545 on: May 08, 2021, 09:12:27 PM »
So there I was sat in my van
I had kept the house under surveillance for about an hour. Then there was movement at the front door.
I hunched down as much as I could in the van so the woman wouldn’t see me.
As she walked up the road and turned the corner I slowly, carefully exited the van.
I crossed the road, nervously, aware that at any time someone could notice me or the woman from the house could come back.
I launched myself over the garden wall and fell to the ground. My heart was beating in anticipation of someone shouting out to me.
I crawled slowly to the door. Once there I looked around once more to check my surroundings.
Then I lifted the letterbox flap slowly and quietly. Once my work was done, I slowly closed the letter box aware that any sound might disturb someone and make them come to the door.
I then jumped up and ran for my life, jumped into the van and drove off at speed away from the scene.
And another ‘Sorry you were out’ card is successfully delivered!

Proud to work for AusPost
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30546 on: May 08, 2021, 09:14:54 PM »
Dear Judge
If you're going to put us all in prison for pirating music, at least have the mercy to put us in a cell with people who like the same stuff!
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30547 on: May 08, 2021, 09:17:43 PM »
I mailed a package to myself the other day.

I can’t remember what I put in it, though?

Oh well, it’ll come to me in a week or two....
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30548 on: May 08, 2021, 09:22:02 PM »
After his legs had been broken in an accident, Mr. Miller sued for damages, claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Although the insurance company doctor testified that his bones had healed properly and that he was fully capable of walking, the judge decided for the plaintiff and awarded him $500,000.

When he was wheeled into the insurance company office to collect his check, Miller was confronted by several executives. "You're not getting away with this, Miller," one said. "We're going to watch you day and night.
If we see you take a single step, you'll not only repay the damages, but stand trial for perjury.
Here's the money. What do you intend to do with it?"

"My wife and I are going to travel," Miller replied. "We'll go to Stockholm, Berlin, Rome, Athens and, finally, to a place called Lourdes--where, gentlemen, you'll see for yourselves with your own eyes, one hell of a miracle!"



0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com
 

Online Kev Murphy

  • "Top Dog" 10000 club
  • *****
  • Posts: 94876
  • Thanked: 10864 times
  • 98 ST1100 Portland, SW Vic coastal.
Re: Drugs, Sex, Rock and Roll, mark II. ( content may not suit everyone)
« Reply #30549 on: May 08, 2021, 09:31:21 PM »
0428 306 496

kjmurphy2@bigpond.com